When I Was Fifteen

Chapter 4- Falling For Him

The next day, all I could think about was James. I kept thinking about when I would see him next, what we would talk about, and I could just feel myself falling for him.

That night when I was literally about to fall asleep, I heard my phone chime. I picked up and James was calling me.

"Hello?" I whisper. It was about eleven pm, and I needed to be quiet.

"Kelsey, I thought I could, but I can't be with you, I'm sorry, please stay away from me, for good this time," he replies, and then he hung up.

I cried for about an hour. I told myself I was stupid to think I was good enough for him. Everything felt broken.

~~~~~

I felt okay in the morning, but when I saw him that afternoon, my heart sank. He was with Natalia. They were holding hands and obviously flirting. I glared at him as I walked by, I couldn't help it, and he gave me a confused look when I did.

After class, he was standing right by the door.

"Why did you look at me funny?" He asks, but I walk past him. He follows
me to my locker and doesn't say anything till we get there.

"Well?" He questions.

"James, stop, let me live my life," I growl as I put in my combination.

"What? We can't be friends?" He replies.

"James friends don't have feelings for each other like that!" I yell, and slam my locker shut after I grab my jacket.

"Kelsey..." He tried to stop me from walking away from him but I push away.

~~~~~

I get home about a half hour later and I am just so annoyed. He has Natalia, so he needs to leave me alone.

"What crawled up your butt?" Tommy snaps.

"Shut up, I don't know what your problem is with me but leave me alone," I growl, and run up to my room. My mascara begins to smear as tears begin rolling down my cheeks. I've known him for one week, and it's like I'm already way too attracted to him.

~~~~

That night, I call Thalia because I just need to leave the house. I tell her I need to get out of the house, and she says she knows exactly where we need to go, and you won't believe where her mom drives us to.

The woods where James' treehouse is. I try to stay calm, but I'm freaking out, what if he's here?

I take a few deep breaths and I begin to relax.

"Let's explore!" Thalia says as she twirls her straight hair. As I look at the black athletic shorts and loose fitting, grey top she has on, I realize I should have dressed a little differently. I am wearing cropped jeans with a black sweater. Well, at least my hair is pulled up so I won't get as hot.

For about an hour, we just walk around and take some cute pictures. Eventually though, we are both sweating uncontrollably and are ready to leave. Thalia calls her mom to come pick us up, and I smile because I feel so relaxed, and then of course he has to ruin it!

James pulls up in the parking lot at the same moment as we walk into it. I try to act casual, but he notices me the moment he steps out.

"Kelsey?" He calls my name and I look away.

"Who is that?" Thalia whispers.

"I'll tell you later just ignore him, please," I mumble, and she listens. James walks pasts us and as soon as he's gone, Thalia looks like she's going to slap me.

"Who's that?" Thalia snaps.

"Um, this boy that um I kind of almost dated but then he told me I'm too young for him," I mumble.

"Well, how old is he? Is he like a sophomore or a junior?" She asks, and puts her hands on her hips. I can tell she's really pissed off.

"He's a uh- senior," I answer in a soft voice, and she gasps dramatically.

"Oh my god! Kelsey! No! You can't like a senior, not to mention, DATE him!" She screams.

"Thalia, lower your voice!" I yell.

"Did you guys kiss?" She asks, in a much softer voice. Thalia just looks so disappointed in me. She looks at me the same way a mother looks at her child when they fail a test because of stupid things.

"No, we almost did, but we didn't. We have only hung out a couple times and now we aren't talking, so stop worrying," I explain, and she shuts up.

~~~~~

When I get home, my mother looks at me confused.

"Why are you all sweaty? Where did you go?" She asks.

"I went to the woods with Thalia and we were exploring," I answer.

"Was the boy you like there?" My mother replies, and I feel so confused.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh baby, I'm your mother, I always find out everything, so tell me about him," She answers as she pulls her thick, light brown hair out of a bun and begins to comb it with her fingers.

We sit down and tears almost instantly begin rolling down my cheeks.

"I like him so much, mom, but it's like he has a fear of commitment," I state, and she wipes my tear.

"Honey, your mascara is too expensive to cry over a boy," she says.

"I'm not wearing any right now," I reply.

"I can see the stains under your bottom lashes," she explains. My mom goes to the bathroom and comes back with makeup remover where she removes all my makeup.

"Let your face breathe, dear," she states, and I hug her.

"What am I going to do?" I ask.

"You're going to forget about that dirty thing, and remember that you were okay without him, and you will be okay without him again," she answers, and I realize that she's right.