Love and loss short stories.

Fake smiles

Okay guys please play the audio whilst reading this as it was what I listened to whilst writing and makes it more emotional. Thanks ❤️

My name is Sophie and I am weak. I know my boyfriend has wondering eyes for my best friend. I know the feeling is mutual but I can't stop myself from loving him. I cannot let go. And I hate myself for it. Every time I catch him watching her I feel my heart crack from the pain and heartbreak. To be honest I'm scared to live without him, it's been us two for the past three years and I'm not sure if I could cope without him. I take in a deep breath to hold back the tears that threaten to escape and plaster on a smile like I'm oblivious to the fact that he's in love with someone else. He has always been my everything, my rock. Whatever I've been going through he has been there and right now I know I would be empty without him but how is me dying a little bit inside every time his eyes wander any better?
I look at my surroundings and take in another deep breath. I'm in the park with Jackson and Mandy. He has his arm around me and is laughing about something she said. I feel my false demeanour slowly slipping from my grasp every time he looks at her with adoration. He looks down to me and I put on my smile again like nothing's wrong. He doesn't question it and carries on flirting and joking around with Mandy. I feel the smile fall from my face and the tears creep back. The lump in my throat is getting harder to swallow and soon I feel like blinking won't be able to keep the tears back. I can't cry in front of him, I can't make him worry about me. I need to be strong, I need to be his rock. I stand up and brush the grass off of me causing Mandy and Jackson to look up at me. I smile assuredly down to them as convincingly as I can.
"I'm going to go home, I don't feel very well" I tell them in the strongest voice I can muster whilst flashing my fake smile once again.
"Do you want me to come?" They ask at the same time before looking at each other and laughing shouting jinx. I take in another deep breath.
"No I'll be okay, you guys have fun" I concentrate on my voice not cracking and turn away after a chorus of byes and get better. As I walk away a single tear slips unwillingly from my eye as I walk away. I can hear them laughing as I take my leave, the more distance I put between us, the fainter the sound becomes and soon enough the only sound I can hear is my heart cracking a little bit more with each step.
Once I get home I close the door and fall to my knees the tears getting to me fully now. A sob escapes my lips and everything around me crumbles. After a while there's a knock at my door. I open it to reveal Mandy standing there with all smiles she lets herself in claiming that we're having a sleepover and clicks on the tv so casual. I smile and sit next to her like everything I have ever known hasn't just caved in on me. So that's what I did I smiled and laughed but I didn't mean a single bit of it, how could I when I'm in so much pain. Worst of all I can't hate her. I can't help but love her too. It's not her fault. It's not his either. You can't help who you fall in love with no more than I can stop it. Half way through our third movie Mandy gets a phone call, she picks it up and walks to the bathroom sparing me a single look before locking the door. I walk over and hear the phones on speaker.
"You're the only one I want to talk to about this mand" a sob calls out from the phone and I already know that it's Jackson.
"Maybe you should speak to your girlfriend Jack!" She scolds. Jack? He never let me call him that. I sink to the floor with my back against the bathroom door listening to a conversation I was never invited to hear.
"My parents are splitting up mand" he cries "you're the only one I want to tell" another tear slips down my cheek and I make no move to wipe it away.
"Oh no, Jack I'm so sorry" every time she says his name it's like a knife being jammed into my heart again and again.
"How fast can you get over here?" I hear the desperation in his voice and realise how much he feels for her and not me.
"I'll be there in ten" she confirms. I get up from the floor and walk to the couch before she comes out.
"Hey soph, that was my mum, she wants me to come home" she lies shifting from one foot to another. I fake another smile and nod to her.
"Okay I was going to go to bed anyway" I say lying through my teeth and false smile. She smiles back and collects her things before all but sprinting to the door. My smile drops as does my head into my hands an I let out a sob. I walk to my room and sit on my bed picking up the photo frame of us three a couple of years ago wearing huge smiles. More tears fall as I get into his hoodie that he left here. It smells of him and I cling to it as I cry silently.

I'm not sure what time I fell asleep but I woke up to my morning alarm with a headache and swollen eyes. I walk to my mirror and see how bad I really look but nothing can bring me to care. I shower and pull on some simple jeans and tank top with my converse, throwing my hair into a bun and not bothering with any make up. I look at the hoodie laying on the bed and throw it on just in time to grab my phone and bag before Jackson comes to pick me up.
I get into his car and notice he's alone. I smile at him, a smile I've come to notice comes way too easy now, a smile that hides the fact that I'm broken inside.
"Nice hoodie" he smiles and I can tell his smile is as fake as mine.
"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" I ask with a fake laugh. Everything about this moment brings me back to the first time I wore one of his hoodies, everything is the same but our laughs and smiles were real back then. His laugh sounds hollow as he looks back to the road.
"Everything okay?" I ask giving him the chance to tell me about his family and lean on me. He smiles at me and nods his head.
"Yep, why wouldn't it be?" His smile is fake and I respond with one of my own. I look out the window and try my hardest to stop myself from crying. I bury my face into his hoodie inhaling the scent knowing that I'm going to have to let go very soon. The rest of the ride to school was completely silent and when we get to school we walk in together hand in hand like nothing is wrong. I pretend to smile as does he.
Suddenly Mandy's brother comes rushing up to us and fear automatically settles in my stomach.
"Mandy's been in an accident" he sobs before grabbing us both and dragging us to the car park. In that moment I saw absolute terror cross Jackson's face  as he runs as fast as his legs would take him. We all get into his car as he drives to the hospital like a mad man. We all run into the hospital and rush to find Mandy. And at that point it seemed like everything was in slow motion. We saw her sitting at the waiting room shaken up and bruised. I'm about to run to her but I'm beaten to it by Jackson. My legs come to a halt as he stands before her holding her face in his hands after a few unconvincing nods she breaks into tears and falls into his arms. My heart stops as he soothes her and holds her close to him. Suddenly I can't hold it back the lump is too big to swallow, there's too many tears to blink away. In this single moment I realised how much they are meant for each other. I realise that my rock is no longer there and I have been walking around with no one to keep me grounded for quite a while all because my rock has always belonged to someone else. I slip off the hoodie and smile sadly at the pair before dropping the hoodie on the chair and leaving the hospital. I now realise that I can't always rely on other people to lean on, sometimes I'm going to have to be my own rock and lean on myself from time to time. All I've had to do was let go.

Okay probs not what you guys were expecting but to be honest I wasn't in the mood for really Lovey dovey stuff today so I wrote this. Not gonna lie I cried the whole time of writing this so please vote and please comment love you all
~scarlet