trash: my true form + bants

Happy Birthday Troye !!

Sweet jesus, where do I start?

Okay first, YOU ARE NOW 21.

I'm freaking out. You're growing up *for him. tune* so fast.

And i-it's just amazingly overwhelming. I- fuuuuck!

I'm so glad when I was 12, yes 12. I lookedd up 'Australian YouTubers' and you, Kimmi Smiles and HowToBasic came up. So I judged everybody's thumbnails (wow judgemental) and then my first Troye video was your first vlog. Like My First Vlog or something video, that had 12k views, so I clicked it, then your beautiful Australian accent filled my ears.

As an Australian myself, I didn't really recognise your accent. So I watched your old covers and stuff. And I loved them.

This is the part where I wanted to upgrade my voice. And you were my damn insipiration.

Then on the same day, I researched. Then I instantly recognised you when I scrolled through pictures.

You were that guy from Spud.

I love that movie, and then I was like, "He's actually so cool omg".

He had 20k something subscribers when I first got into his channel. Then I was gathering info about you.

I learned you were from Australia, and you were born on South Africa.

I was stalking you and stuff.

Then you uploaded the 2012 Zeigest song! I LISTENED TO IT IN REPEAT.

Troye came out, I was 13. And I was pretty curious about who I was attracted to.

I did know what gay, lesbian and biseuxal meant, but I was 30% sure I was bi.

So I came out to my parents, and they accepted me. They still saw me as Alison.

Now, I looked at trans people.

Fuck, I found them pussy-wetting too.

Hot damn, they were attractive.

I did research and stuff, and then I was pansexual-agender.

I came out again and they still accepted me.

2014, damn.

TROYE RELEASED TRXYE I WAS SO HAPPY AND SOKSNDMSSMKSKS

I bought it and I listened to it.

I learned about relationships (Happy Little Pill), irony of war (Fun), sexual intercourse-y stuff (Touch) and people disappearing here on earth. (The Fault In Our Stars).

I adored Troye's music and continued watching videos.

I was 15 now, and it was 2015. Troye talked about AIDS and Sexual intercourse, and I think I learnt more stuff. My sex-ed teacher is terrible.

He dropped WILD. AND I LISTENED TO IT.

But then, dark days.

Stress, parent fights, family problems, bullying.

I drank... bleach.

Literally.

I already swallowed a bit, but then I stopped.

Why?

Cause I knew there was hope, I knew there were people who made me smile and made me laugh. Made me happy when I was sad. So I stopped.

I continued to watch Troye's videos and I became a bit happier.

Troye didn't save me. I can't say that.

He just helped me to get through rough times.

So thank you precious baby bean.

Ilyy 💕💕💕💙💙💙