My life officially cant get any worse. after watching my mom get murdered, having to live on the street because my mom got murdered, and being raped, im pretty sure this is rock bottom. if it isnt, then i might as well kill myself because i dont think i can handle my life being any worse. im currently sitting on a sidewalk in New York City in the rain with jeans and a tshirt on. the good thing is, since i havent been able to take a shower in like 2 weeks, the rain is doing a good job of washing away most of the grime thats accumulated on my skin. the bad thing is, i might get hypothermia or pneumonia or whatever else life decides to throw my way. like currently, theres a rat making its way towards me. i mean, most girls would be scared out of their mind, but after me witnessing the death of my mother and being raped, stuff like rats barely tend to phase me anymore. o god do i miss my mother. i tried to divert my thoughts from her but it just wouldnt work. a sob escaped my blue and now trembling lips. i just couldnt hold it in anymore. i cried and cried as i thought about the good times we had with each other. i cried even more when i thought about the not so good times we had and how i would give anything to have another one of those times. i heard my stomach growl and that snapped me back to reality. i stood up and tried my best to look presentable. i walked into a chicken place and ordered a 5 piece with biscuits. when she went to get the chicken, i stole some of the money out of the register. as she came back with the chicken and biscuits, i took the food, some more money, and i left. i decided to go to the subway where at least i would be warm. as i sat eating my food, i realized i only stole $100. what am i gonna do with just $100 is beyond me. you cant really get much but seeing as how this is the most amount of money ive ever had at once, it didnt really matter. i decided to walk to the closest Salvation Army and try to get some warmer clothes. and i would need to find a place to get a hot shower and a nice warm bed. ahhh how that sounds so good right now. i was once again snapped out of my thoughts. this time it was from a shadow that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. my body instantly tensed as i made out the shadow to belong to a guy. i stood up ready to fight. if its one thing i learned out here on the streets, its how to defend myself. after i got raped by a group of guys while i was sleeping, i didnt want to take any chances. i eyed him up and down and he seemed kinda....calm. usually when somethings about to happen, the person has a look of anger or something on their face. his face was just serene. and kinda nice if i might add.
"what" i said with plenty of anger in it. it did a good job of hiding the fear that mightve come out of my voice if i wasnt as annoyed as i was. "uhh hello to you to miss" he said with just as much anger. i wonder what was pissing him off and how his face still managed to stay calm after he produced a voice filled with such anger.
"look man, i dont have time for you to just stand here and gawk so if you dont mind, you can move. NOW." i really was tired of this little game. usually, people would barely glance my way, which is fine by me so this stranger is just really grinding my gears.
"you know usually girls would swoon when they see me, so this is actually quite refreshing" he said with a smirk on his face. "well im apparently not other girls so just do me a favor and disappear. you dont have anything that i want. nothing at all." i couldnt help the annoyance in my voice. i have a low tolerance for arrogance and this guy totally had plenty of it. " i wouldnt be so sure about me not having anything you want. i might be able to help you in more ways then you think" he said with a devilish smirk on his face. it was the kind of smirk that said 'i know something that you dont' and i couldnt help but like it. " look man, im quite sure you dont so just go away ok. and what are you doing messing with me anyway. you have a group of followers right over there and quite frankly, im pretty sure they want your company more than i do. so go on" i said. i was refferring to the small group of girls that was gawking with no kind of shame at all. i was shooing him with my hand and was very close to pushing him over there. :nah, i would much rather be here with you" he said. i was so frustrated that i just stormed off. and you know what he did, he followed. i was just so tired of it, i stopped abruptly which caused hime to stop as well. i punched him in the nose. Hard. and then i kicked him in his sofet spart. he was on the floor moaning in pain but i didnt stop. something inside me snapped. i let out all my frustrations and anger on his face and body. i completely avoided the gasps and turned on my heels and walked away. the thought that he might file charges againts me didnt register. maybe because he didnt know my name and also because there are alot of 16 year old girls on the streets in New York. Granted, most of them dont look like i do. i have black hair and black and purple eyes. my eyes can look purple with black specs or black with purple specs. i have 2 tattoos and my eyebrow was pierced. one tattoo was a pair of wings on my back. the other one was 3 stars in the area between my thumb and pointer finger. it wouldnt be that hard to find me i guess. with my shoulderlength hair and 5'8 frame. and also the fact that i was wanted by the police for the murder of my mom. yep, my life couldnt get any worse
