Frerard Oneshots

Obsession

Why do I have to be like this?

Why do I have to get obsessed with things so much?

It only fucks my brain up.

Because now I'm lost and stuck in the space between. Because I made the mistake of trying to jump but looking back half way. Now I'm trapped in a place with no gravity pulling me back down to earth and sanity again. Now I just float. Looking desperately for a stable ledge to use as a stepping stone and get me through.

I love things a little bit too much.

Like bands; like people.

It's the bands you like but aren't obsessed with that get you through. When you love one band too much and your life revolves around it. They control your emotions completely. They are the only ones who make you truly happy. The ones who make you squeal and jump around at 4 am because your otp are too goddamn adorable! You become reliant on something you can only stare longingly at. People who are just out of your reach. You label them as perfection and treat them like some type of God, these band members. Because they helped you get through tough times.

Everyone has that one song that will get them through anything.

But once your over your bad times and are happy again, due to one band fixing you. You can't listen to that any longer. It has too many sad memories attatched. I listened to that song when everything went wrong and when everything is alright again it has bad associations now.

These cheap fucks are the bands I half liked and used as stepping stones. They're the most and least useful.

Gerard, you were my rock you were the one who made me better. You were the equivalent of my favourite band. You fixed me. But now every time I see your face I remember the suffering.

But it isn't your fault. It never could be. You helped me through everything. But now everything is a memory. A shadow at the back of my mind forever haunting me and poisoning the water that falls down my cheeks. They were once tears of happiness and relief but now only sadness and hatred. Not at you. Never at you.

Just myself. For these imperfections. For getting too obsessed.

I need to let go. Either climb my way to the other side or keep on falling.

But it's too late and I fear I have only one option left because the ground seems so close now.

So I bid you farewell and tell you, it isn't your fault. Even if it may seem I imply it at times.

I just love you too much.

So long and good night.

Frankxoxo