Frerard Oneshots

Your betrayal

A/N bit of bfmv right there oh yeah! Sorry for like not updating in ages or whatever but I have actually been busy! I know what is this genuine reasons!? But this is a pretty feeble excuse of a one shot anyway so be prepared for disappointment!

I feel a feeling. A feeling of betrayal. It is strong but not as strong as a feeling of hatred, as I feel as though I do not possess enough energy to feel such an emotion as hate.

I have been beaten down. Torn apart by my demons. Left for dead.

They promised.

That they cared. That they'd be there.

But who is here now?

I am alone.

Sobs wrack through my broken body. My soul in shards scattered upon the dark, black floor.

I can't take it. I am alone. No one is here to save me.

It's so easy to say the words "I promise." Yet how many times do we say them in life and actually mean them?

You promised you'd always be my side.

But I suppose I am the one at fault.

I believed you.

Now the pain is twice as harsh.

I feel stupid.

How could I have been so blind?

Humans are careless creatures.

The gift of emotion is unwisely given to humanity. It is used as a way of greed. We all want to be happy. Not sad. But to be happy sometimes we make others sad.

Has empathy been forgotten?

Or is it just ignored?

As I am, as I lay alone, crying out in the darkness?

For I have been defeated.

I could of won my battle if you'd been there. But you weren't.

If you'd been by my side we would of been invincible. Well at least, not as defeated so easily...

But all is over now. And all is lost.

At least I have lost all.

You are unaffected by my misery. By my endless torture you seemed to try so hard to ignore but pretend to take interest in.

To pretend that you cared.

Now it is time for the aftermath.

The time to regret the decisions I have made.

Because the war is over now, but not the hurting.

I didn't want to hurt anybody, I never try to, I avoid it as much as possible. Yet you hurt me?

Because YOU were feeling upset?

Why did you blame me?

It's not my fault. Yet you treat me like I have slaughtered your family and sent you the remains in the post. Which at this point I am not far off doing.

I'm fed up.

I'm sick and tired of everything.

Why is everything my fault? That's how I feel right now. That I have to be blamed for everything. That this is the only possible logical conclusion. I am responsible for it all.

You said I was self obsessed, or at least suggested it. You said I am hateful. The only things I hate are both of these 'qualities' and you accuse me?

Each tear dripped down my face like acid. It burned. It hurt. It stung.

Each sob that wracked my body was like a stab in the gut.

You caused this. But you promised you'd never hurt me?

Then again the words 'I promise' are more or less meaningless these days.

No shred of humanity is left. At least not one with a sense of compassion. Because nobody cares.

For now I am forced to live a life of loneliness, to live only with my thoughts and demons. However there is not much difference any more.

You were my demon Gerard and I shall never forget how you seeped the poison into my brain. Slowly, over a long period of time I actually believed myself to be happy!

That was the most despicable bit. That whilst you were weaving your blanket of misery across my brain you kept me happy. You kept me smiling and feeling as if you were the world.

I believed you and look where that has got me?

A dark room and a bottle of bleach in one hand.

I'm a shell of who I was before I met you. And that is saying something, I mean I was fucked before but it is nothing compared to now.

I used to smile as I heard your voice every morning, whispering in my ear to wake me up. I used to love those moments where I would be laying in your arms and longing for nothing more than to stay in your arms for ever. Now I think if I touched you my skin would burn.

Because I hate you.

You and your corpse rotting in the chair beside me.