Ramblings Of A Hiddlestoner

Red Love

I fiddle with the key in my hand, fumbling as I try and get it into the small and almost impossible hole so I can let myself into the house. I would have knocked but unfortunately I only had two hands, both of which were occupied with shopping bags full of vegetables, meat and a fresh supply of blood for Adam...

The door unlocks with a click, allowing me entry into the house. It was a small house, barely enough for a family to live in. Luckily there was only the two of us. We didn't plan on having 'little ones' running round any time soon. I make my way to the kitchen, the bags beginning to weigh me down. As I reach the door, I hear something scurrying in the kitchen, something struggling. Frowning in confusion, I open the kitchen door using my foot and peer into the room.

"A...Adam? Are you okay?" I ask uncertainly. My focus immediately falls to the figure in the centre of the kitchen floor. I know instantly that it's Adam. I slowly tread around the counter so I can get a better view of him to check he's okay. However my eyes were not expecting to see what they did. I dropped the bags of shopping to the floor, its contents spilling and rolling in different directions. Adam was fine, and although that relieved me, I could not take my eyes off the body of a wild deer lying limp and dead next to him. Adam sensed my presence and swung his head round. I gasped at the look of him. He didn't look sane. His eyes were possessed with the desire of blood. The crimson liquid was in his straggled hair as well as dripping off his chin as he locked his gaze with mine. He was crazy, wild, delusional. He was dangerous. "Adam listen to me. It's happening again. You need to stop. Remember who you were." I began to say. However all attempts were futile as he ignored my words. Picking himself off the floor, he was by my side in seconds, pinning me to the wall by my throat and lifting me just slightly off the ground so I had nothing to stand on. A smirk spread across his stained lips.

"You smell good Jenna." He whispered next to my ear. I didn't reply to his remark, mainly because I couldn't.

"Adam...Please. You're scaring me." I croaked, allowing tears to show my fear. Adam stopped and gazed at a tear falling down my cheek, his eyes staring in confusion and awe. He gently wiped the tear off my face and stared at the droplet on his finger. He then shifted his attention back to me. I saw the crazed look in his eyes beginning to fade and his grip on my throat loosened. I dropped to my knees, gasping for much needed air. I lifted my head up slowly, knowing Adam was watching. I was correct. He stared at me with the most intelligent eyes, eyes that had seen the joy and the pain and the sacrifice of existence. Eyes that had seen too much. His expression was clouded with guilt.

"Jenna I'm sorry." He said desperately. I shook my head. He didn't need to be sorry. It wasn't his fault.

"Adam it's-" I began, before realising that he had gone. I heard the door to the spare room slam shut. I let a sigh escape my lips before a whooping cough caused my whole body to shake. I realised my throat was still recovering from his constricting grasp. I coughed again and picked myself up, supporting myself using the counter top. I knew from past experiences that there was no point in trying to talk to him until later. All I could do was wait it out, give him a couple of hours. I tried to distract myself with collecting the contents of the shopping and packing them away. I grabbed the blood bags that I had managed to take from the hospital and packed them into the cupboard. I looked at the number of bags I had on the counter. There weren't many. I would have to be careful with his portions this week. Hopefully I could get some more at the weekend. Next I focussed on making myself something to eat and getting some water to ease the burning sensation in my throat. After all that was done, I decided that it was time to go upstairs. He needed reassurance. He needed me.

I treaded lightly towards the spare room. Once I had reached the door and knocked gently. I knew that I was not going to receive and answer so I spoke first.

"Adam? Adam it's me. I'm...I'm okay. Please, don't blame yourself for this." I soothed from the other side. There was no reply. However I did hear a shift in movement, confirming that he was in there. Slowly, I made the brave move of pushing open the door and stepped inside. The room wasn't very big, in fact it was probably the smallest in the house. Only Adam tended to use it. It contained all of his instruments that he collected, although he rarely played. I made my way through the piles of sheet music and old guitars. That was when I found him, hunched up, knees to his chest gazing outward at the view. I walked up beside him and sat down gently, my eyes never leaving his face. He looked so lost, so afraid and ashamed. For a while, neither of us spoke; the silence engulfing the room. He just looked on at the view. However, eventually the silence was broken although, surprisingly, it wasn't me who broke it.

"Am I a monster Jen?" He asked quietly. For a second I stared at him, shocked by how blunt the question was. Then I answered.

"Technically...yes you are. Your kind, all the myths and legends that we as human beings, come up with suggest that you are vicious, delusional and a creature from hell itself," I use my hand to turn his face towards me. He looks at me for a second before averting his gaze. I continue. "But you Adam, as an individual, are not a monster. You're different. I know it. If I didn't then I would be here now. You could have killed me downstairs. You could have followed the stereotypical traits of a vampire and drank me dry. But you didn't. That was a choice you made Adam. You're a good man. You just need to believe that." I comforted him. He smiled slightly at my words and repositioned his gaze so he was looking directly at my neck. I notice his hands moving closer towards me as he gently touched the new bruises forming. I winced at his touch, retracting slightly. He pulled his hand away.

"I did this. I hurt you. Why are you still here Jenna? Why do you still care?" He asked sadly. I moved closer towards him and took his hand, linking my fingers with his.

"Because I'm not ready to give up on you, even if you are. I love you too much to just walk away." I reply simply. Adam sighed softly and lifted my hand up, kissing my palm softly. I smile at the tenderness of his lips before resting my head on his shoulder.

"I love you too Jenna. Always. Even when I'm not myself, I'll always love you." he said gently. I squeezed his hand to reassure him and kissed his cheek.

"I know Adam. I know."