My love. My pain. My Dom.

Chapter 10

Ashton's pov

I can't believe he spanked me. Okay I can. He's always been the better one. The most successful, responsible, and best looking one. He always has to be the best. He doesn't even have to try. He's loving, forgiving, honest and compassionate. He's the best of both worlds. Niall doesn't realize how lucky he is. Harry won't ever hurt him. I'm a terrible Dom. I don't even have a place to live. A job. Hell I still get spankings from my older brother. I'm such a fuck up. Why can't I be more like Harry? Successful? Good looking? I wouldn't mind that. He raised me! I should be exactly like him. I looked down and realized my wrists were all bloody I had been cutting thinking about myself compared to my brother. I started crying. Hard. You could probably hear me over the shower but I didn't care. I needed to cry. Soon I felt Harry picking me up off the shower floor. "You told me you would stop this shit." He growled. "I'm sorry. You're just so perfect and I'm a fuck up." I slurred. He smacked my butt harder then he's ever smacked it before. "Ow." I hissed. "Shut your mouth. You're not a fùck up. You're my baby brother and if I hear you saw that again I'll cane you until you can't walk. You're perfect to me okay?" He asked combing his fingers through my hair. "I asked you a question Ashton." He said sternly. "I'm sorry sir. Yes sir. I understand." I whispered. "Okay. I love you. So much. More than you'll ever realize." He told me making me start to cry again. "Shh baby you're okay. Don't cry please don't cry." He said gently rocking me side to side. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed. "No body is mad. It's alright." He soothed. "I love you too Haz." I finally whispered. "Are you okay?" He asked me gently. "I don't know what to think anymore. I just want to go back to when life was easy. I always had you and I didn't have to worry about anything. You'd do that for me." I admitted. "I'm always here for you Ash. You know this. If you ever need me I'm right here. I pay for your phone so I know you can always get ahold of me. I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what. I'm here. I've always been here." He told me. "Thank you." I told him. I didn't know what else to say so I just hugged him. Man I've missed him. He's the same but he's different too. He's changed a lot. He actually tells people "I love you" he doesn't spank out of anger anymore which is nice, and he doesn't hit me anymore. I like this new Harry. "I'm going to tell Ni it's time to get ready for bed, you need to get ready for bed as well. I'll be in to check on you before I go to bed alright? Get those cuts cleaned up. We'll discuss punishment for that in the morning. You know I don't allow that." He spoke making me regret my decision to stay here. My poor little butt.

Niall's pov

Harry came into the bedroom looking exhausted. "What was going on?" I asked. "He cut himself." He replied making my eyes go wide. "Why? He seemed to be fine." I asked genuinely concerned. "Baby, he was just kicked out of his apartment and he hasn't had a sub in lord knows how long." He sighed. "Oh. True." I shrugged. "Are you ready for bed?" He asked. "Yes daddy." I giggled. "Good boy." He grinned. He stripped down to boxers. "I'll be right back." He sighed.

5 minutes later he walked back in with all of the razors from Ashton's room and the advil and Tylenol from there too. I smiled widely at him. "What?" He asked. "Nothin. You're just so cute." I giggled. "Not as cute as you." He spoke huskily. He crawled up on the bed slowly and hovered over me. He growled playfully before dipping his head down and sucking on my neck. I bucked my hips to meet his. "Baby no." He said getting off of me. "What?" I poured. "You're not ready. I'm not going to do that to you." He told me giving me one last kiss and then bringing me down to his chest to cuddle with him. "Goodnight baby boy, I love you." He said gently. "I love you too." I replied.

Harry's pov

3am
I woke up to Ashton's screams. I quickly got up and ran to him. He was drenched in sweat and tears were streaming down his face. I gently woke him up. "Baby boy." I soothed. He woke up and clung to me for dear life. "I'm sorry." He cried. "Ash, have you ever thought of being a sub instead?" I asked. "No, dad would kill me." He answered. "Dad won't know. It'll be between me and you." I told him. "Then yes. I would love to be a sub." He breathed. "I thought so." I chuckled. "I'll try to be sure that you get a very good Dom. And I won't let dad know." I promised. "Thank you. You know my night terrors are about him." He told me. After all these years he finally told me. "I know baby." I said kissing his forehead. "You should go back to sleep." He chuckled. "Yeah you too." I added. "Night." He told me before turning over and falling asleep almost instantly. "Night." I said back and walked out and back to my room to finally get some much needed sleep. I love him but damn he needs to think on his own sometimes. When I walked back in Niall was sitting there reading his boring book. "I'm so sorry baby." I sighed. "He needed you, I understand that." He shrugged. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect and I love you." I spoke huskily. " I love you too but I'm exhausted so we're going to sleep. Goodnight." He grinned. "Yes sir." I mocked. "No! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" He panicked. "I know love. I was teasing. Go to sleep now, that's an order." I said chuckling and kissing his cheek.

Next morning.
I woke up before anyone else, shocker. I took my time in the shower to think about how I was going to administer Ashton's punishment. I don't want to go hard on him I really don't but if he slips back to the way he was when he was 13, I'm afraid I'll lose him. 40 with the brush and finish it with icy hot. That should be good right? He won't hate me forever. No Harry. Be strong. You can't have a heart right now. Be. Strong. I got out and got dressed. I grabbed the icy hot on my way out of the room. I opened the door without knocking. He was asleep. Peaceful. "Ash." I said gently. "Yeah?" He asked groggily. "Time to wake up bud." I told him. "Okay." He nodded and stretched his long limbs. "Are you here to spank me?" He asked right after getting to the point before I could. "Yeah I am." I told him trying to chant in my head that I have no heart. No heart at all. He stood up and took the sweats I gave him off. Soon I was helping him over my lap again. I rubbed his back for a few seconds. "Your hand Ashton." I reminded him. He shakily handed it over. "Calm down Ash." I soothed. He let out a shaky breath. I took down his underwear in one swift movement. "Okay, you ready?" I asked. "Harry I have to go to the restroom." He said embarrassed. "You have 2 minutes." I groaned. He sprinted to the restroom and was back over my lap in record time. "Good boy." I praised. I picked up the brush and tapped his butt as a warning. I started right after. He must have known better than to ask for my hand instead because he just stayed silent. Soon he was shaking in pain. No heart Harry. Stay strong. At 20 he was already sobbing. He was still really sore from last night and I wasn't going easy on him. I stopped at thirty and rubbed his bum for a second. Just to get the sting out. "Please no more Bubba. It hurts. Please Bubba it hurts." He sobbed. "I know love. Just ten more. Think you can do that?" I asked. "Yeah. I can do it." He nodded. I'm skipping the icy hot. I finished out his spanking fast and hard. "Ouch ow please no. Harry please!" He screamed throughout the last ten. "It's done. It's all over." I soothed. "What about the icy hot? I saw you carry it in here." He admitted. "I decided not to use it. You're welcome." I told him. "Thank you." He breathed. "Alright, you're starting to bruise so I'm going to grab you a pillow to carry around with you so you don't have to sit on hard chairs. Also, follow what Niall does. You're gonna want to have some submissive background when I find you a Dom and I'm not going to train you." I told him. "Yes sir." He answered. I grabbed him a thick pillow and let him have that for the day. Niall was awake and showered when I walked in to check on him. "Good morning beautiful." I grinned. "Good morning." He smiled. Both Ashton and Niall sat at my feet while I worked which is odd but I'll get over it. When Niall sat on my lap for breakfast and Ashton just kinda stood there, well that was really weird. I still see him as a brother not as a Dom or Sub. Guess I should see him as a Sub. "Ni baby you can sit on my lap while I work if you want." I offered. He looked at Ashton and noticed he was panicking. "Ashton, go take a nap you had a big morning." I told him. He nodded and scrambled up and walked quickly out of my office. Niall was immediately in my lap cuddled up to me. "I'm so tired of tiptoeing around him." I groaned. "Be nice he's your brother." Niall lightly scolded. I pinched his bum. "Ow. Sorry sir." He said quietly. "I think you're starting to forget who's in charge here. It's me baby doll. Not you. Do you need me to remind you of that?" I asked. "N-no sir. I'm sorry sir. I'll be good." He said then hung his head. "Good boy." I praised kissing his head. "I'm sorry daddy I'll be good." He sniffled. "Don't cry baby, it's already forgotten." I promised. He nodded and laid his head down on my shoulder. "There's my baby boy." I cooed. He let a small smile grace his face.

Ashton's nap turned out to be like 5 hours long which really kinda annoyed me but I decided not to say anything about it because he'd act all weepy. I mean so would Niall but that's not the point. Ni's my baby. Ashton isn't.

That evening I looked for a Dom for Ashton and there's one really close by. I could keep an eye him. His name is Luke Hemmings he has a few piercings but he looks like a good guy. I sent him a message. He wants to meet with me before he meets Ashton which is a good idea. I set up an appointment to meet up with him tomorrow.

A/N: so I didn't die...😅