Hold On To Me // [Z.M.]

Chapter 2 | Broke Inside

02

DAYS PASSED SINCE I found out. Life was going on as normal as it could with me keeping such a huge thing from him. Zayn was working, I was busy with friends. To any body else, including Zayn, it seemed like nothing had changed. The morning sickness was horrid, but I had Zayn convinced I had a stomach bug. I've never lied to him so he didn't look too much into it. 

I made spaghetti bolognese for dinner, one of our favorite meals. We ate, having the normal conversation we always did. Zayn's plans for tour were coming along. It was looking like it would be one of the biggest he's done solo yet. He would be performing stadiums in the UK, and arenas in America. He'll also be going to places across Asia, and a few dates were in South America. He was so excited talking about it. I would have been too, if I hadn't known that half way through I would be giving birth. 

Hearing him talk about these big plans made me realize that I needed to tell him sooner rather than later. This was going to be our reality. We were going to be parents. He had the right to know, especially if it would interfere with his career. 

"Zayn, can we talk for a minute?" I said, breaking the silence as the two of us cleaned up after dinner. He paused, giving me a confused expression. 

"Yeah, what about?" He stopped and turned the sink off, giving me his full attention. 

I put down the towel in my hand and sighed. The walls seemed to be closing in on me slowly. It took a lot of courage, but I began "I wanted to-" His phone began to ring, and I stopped mid sentence. Gulping, I turned back to the dirty countertops and continued scrubbing. 

"I'm sorry, I'll only be a minute." He told me, and answered the call. "Hey, Matty! When was the last time I heard from you?"

I paused, taking a shaky breath. I was so close to telling him, and the prat Matty had to call him. I was just going to do it, rip it off like a bandage. Zayn was talking on the phone, laughing and cracking jokes in the other room while I was in the kitchen, close to tears. I hated this situation, completely. 

"Clara, Matty just invited us out to Novo, that club downtown. He said Louise and Bella will be there, too. Oh, and Jordan. Haven't seen the lad in ages. What do you say, want to go?" He seemed excited about it, but I wasn't in it.

"Nah, I think I'll skip this one. I haven't been sleeping well lately," I lied, and he shrugged. I wouldn't be able to drink because of the pregnancy and I didn't want him to notice. Also, I learned a long time ago that it wasn't fun to be around drunk people when you were sober. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. He held me close to his chest, rubbing circles on my back. I slipped my arms around his neck and buried my fingers into his hair. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go? I know you always have a good time with Louise and Bella." He mumbled into your neck. 

"Yeah, I'm sure. You go though, have a good time." I told him, lifting my head to look into his eyes. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine for a long, slow kiss. When we broke apart, he smiled and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. He went upstairs to get changed and I followed him. While he put on something nice to go out in, I changed into pyjamas and climbed into bed. 

"Oh, shit. You wanted to tell me something, didn't you?" He asked, pausing as he was about to slip his shirt over his head. 

"Oh, it's nothing. It can wait." I said, trying to make my smile as convincing as possible. 

"You sure?" He put his shirt on, and picked his jacket up off of the chair. 

"Mmm hmm. Go, have fun." I said, and he leaned over to kiss me one more time before he walked out. I listened for the front door to open and close, but it didn't. I figured he'd forgotten something. A few moments later, he came back up the stairs with a steaming mug of tea in his hands.