His Baby {completed}

Chapter 24

"Alex you can't keep doing this." I firmly state and fix him with a glare. "You can't just leave and then keep coming back and forth like this! What kind of shit is that?! How am I suppose to feel about this? What is Lucas suppose to make of it?! You_"

"I KNOW! Damn it Schätzchen, I know. You are right. Baby, you are right. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep going here and there. I know I can't. I tried being away. I tried like hell but I can't. I fucking just can't!." He grits out back in frustration with flashing baby blues.

I sigh and walk over to the edge of the bed and sit down. Silence surrounds us for a few minutes. He walks over and kneels down in front of me. With a desperate look in his eyes, he holds onto my knees and say, "What we had was all kinds of fucked up and unhealthy. I wasn't good enough for you....hell I'm still not. I struggle with my demons every fucking day and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I am not asking for you to take me back as I am right now." I open my mouth and he shushes me with a gesture and continues on. "Don't give me an answer now. Because if you tell me no Eve, I-I don't think I will survive it. Just....just tell me that you will give me a chance. Give our family a chance. That is all I am asking. Give me a few weeks. Just a few. Come with me to therapy for a session or two every week as a couple and you can sign up for personal therapy outside of that as well. At the end of it all, if you still don't want me then I won't ever fuck with you again. I promise. Please Schätzchen please."

I take a deep breathe and watch him for a few seconds. My head is screaming for me to actually take several steps back and say hell no. But my heart....my heart is crying out for me to agree. My heart, the very thing that very well maybe the death of me. I cover his hands with mine and lean forward until my forehead rests against his.

I never thought I would ever see Alex on his knees begging me of anything. Usually it's the other way around. From our talk the other day, I can tell therapy is helping...but is it too late? Too late for us to be the couple that we need to be for our children and ourselves? For the life of me I can't say no. I can't say the word being screamed over and over in my mind. Because of what? Love? Love will be the end of me I swear it will.

"Alex, I-I can't handle what I have been through before with you again. All of the fighting....I can't." I whisper out with a shaky voice. He leans forward and wraps his arms around my waist. Pulling me tightly to him, he nods his head.

"A month, give me a month." He pleads while searching my face for the answer he so desperately seem to want. "Three weeks." I counter back. A frown forms on his lips as he looks back down at me with a raised brow. I watch him. waiting for him to argue back, like he usually would whenever I tried to take the reins over any situation.

His mouth opens and close a few more times as he struggles with his natural need for dominance. Gripping my waist tighter, he pulls me further to him. Closing his mouth into a thin line of disproval he gives me a sharp nod and grunt. I smile softly and reach forward and wrap my arms around his neck. "And no sex." I whisper against his cheek.

With my words, he jumps back as if I slapped him. I struggle to keep from laughing out loud as he stares back at me in shock. "Whwhwhat? W-why would you ask that of me? What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me?!" He sputtered out in outrage. It's going to kick my ass too but I am serious about not having sex. I want us both to take this serious. I want us to focus on being better for one another. "Alex I want us to take this whole process ser_"

"What does that have to do with us fucking?" He spats out with a glare.

"Everything." I respond back just as firmly. You allow people to treat you how you want them to treat you. You allow people to treat you how you want them to treat you. I repeat the mantra over and over to myself in my head as I look back at him. Alex pushes away from me and stalks over to the other side of the room to pace. "Alex, I am not asking for you to go celibate. Technically we still aren't together, we are just testing the waters to see if we can get back together. All I am saying is that we can't have sex_"