Nappy-Headed

Chick Friends

I had chick friends until I realized that my relationship with the majority of them was superficial.

Like one was only with me as long as I wasn't whining about being depressed,

And one was with me only because I was cool with her best friend and because she knew my best friend.

And one was just cool with me because she was just a cool person like that

But the most important one, the one who was supposed to be my best friend, I realized that our relationship was the lowest form of friendships there could be: associates.

For all these years I had assumed that we were sisters while she took road trips with other friends.

And I thought, there's nothing wrong with that.

But then I thought: sisters don't leave sisters out, and I couldn't imagine planning every trip without including the possibility of taking a sister.

But maybe it was just me. Maybe I was jealous? Why couldn't my friends go to New Orleans without me? Sure, I had never went, and sure I'd always told them that I wanted to go, but they didn't owe that to me, right?

Then I realized that that hadn't been the only trip I'd been excluded out of, that for years I'd been only a sometime associate because I was easy going and I listened to people and I was a pushover.

Then this morning  I woke up and told myself that I wanted to have friends who thought about me when they were planning to take  road trips to Louisiana, California, ect.

I wanted to have friends...not associates...because that's all my chick friends had ever been.

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A/N: I'm low down in the dumps today. I've been reflecting on life, and I've decided that I've been serving people and keeping myself down. Learn from my low-down-in-the-dump-ness today and think about yourself. Consider your worth. Make yourself happy. Hang out with people who uplift you and include, and, if you can't find people like that, be your own friend until people like that come around. Love yourself!

Peace, XOXO