The Beauty of Imperfection

Author's Note

First off, I would like to thank you all.

Second of all, I would like to apologize.

I'm sorry if you guys hated this ending. I'm sorry if you feel as though some loose ends such as Naruto and Kiba hadn't been tied up in a perfect little bow (but life is messy. Life doesn't always end in perfect bows. Sometimes there're loose ends in life). I'm sorry if this upset you. I'm sorry if this was just a little too realistic, or just a little too unrealistic.

I will not answer questions such as "Did Sensei get better?" "What happened to Mizu?", etc. I feel like I really did answer these in a subtle way. I invite you to reread the story. You never know what you might find.

Fuzen's mother had a mental disease. I don't know if that disease was schizophrenia or bipolar disorder or some other mental disease.

Fuzen, too, had a mental disorder. Is it all that surprising? She had a terrible childhood. Developed an eating disorder at one point in her life. Experienced the trauma of losing a teammate. Felt as though she had been abandoned. Yeah.

It was never supposed to end this way. This story, I mean. Some of you don't write, and some of you do, but I will try to explain this in a way that all can understand.

I don't decide what to write. I never choose. I may begin with a basic, bare idea; a skeleton that still needs flesh and skin and organs and a soul. That's the toughest part, the soul. It's so easy to get wrong. One wrong move, one sloppy sentence, one weak word and the entire body falls apart. And when you force the words to come, when you pound them into the page, demand obedience from the words, your writing is skin and bones. There is no muscle, no heart, no spirit. And there never will be if you don't give yourself in to the words.

It's a terrifying thought, and many struggle with it. How can you not be in control? Of course you're in control; you're the author, you choose, you control, the words obey you. But if you never learn how to give in you will never write.

I used to delude myself into thinking I controlled the outcome of my stories, of my essays, of my poems. I used to delude myself into thinking that it was I who controlled the plot and the characters and the lifes and the deaths and I have never been so wrong in my entire life.

I have killed characters that were meant to live. I have watched characters survive where they were supposed to die. I have watched side characters become main characters and enemies have become allies and friends have killed friends and I have controlled none of it.

Originally, this story was supposed to end in a way that many of you would have been much more pleased with: Fuzen murdering her father. It was always going to end badly for Fuzen, whether that be jail or death or living the rest of her life on the run. But instead this came to me. It felt more realistic, in a way. When someone truly breaks there isn't logic and clarity. Their jumbled mind jumps to conclusions the rest of us can't even understand and the only thing we can do is explain it away by shrugging and saying, "She's crazy."

So I'm sorry.

I'm not sorry that this made you think. That this made you feel. That this may have shocked you. That you might be uncomfortable. I'm not sorry for writing this.

Bring on the angry fangirls. I know your coming to murder me. I am prepared.

(Not really please don't kill me)

With the end of this story I have a sad announcement: I don't believe I will be starting any new fanfiction. The stories I have up I will finish. I will try to finish Crosses to Bear, though it will be a short story like this one.

I don't want any of you to think I decided to end this story the way I did simply because I was tired of writing fanfiction. That's not true. I finished this story the way I did because it was supposed to end this way. It was always supposed to end this way. I didn't always know it, but that's the truth.

Some of you seemed upset that this entire story, she was just depressed af and never seemed to be making progress or whatever. Well, that's correct: she never did heal. The wound barely even scabbed over. She didn't have any support and left the village and left her family and left Hideaki and she didn't have the support she needed to heal. I tried to convey that the best I could.

I don't think Fuzen even wanted to heal. Naruto, bless his soul, reached out to her time and time again and she didn't reach back. Fuzen didn't want to be saved. That was an important aspect of this fic. Fuzen didn't want to be saved. She didn't realize she needed to be saved. She might not have even deserved to be saved.

Now another question for you guys. Was she saved? In the end, was Fuzen saved?

Comment your thoughts? Thanks guys.

I'd like to acknowledge the fantastic artist Audiomachine. Their music was incredibly inspiring. Want good music? Fucking Audiomachine, man.

I wrote chapter thirteen to the song Rebirth by Audiomachine. Check it out. Tell me what you think.

Though I may not be starting any new fanfiction, that certainly doesn't mean I won't be writing. I write many creative nonfiction essays that I may start posting on a blog in the future. @supermassiveblckhole and I are planning on writing an original story together. I'll send out more updates regarding that in the future.

I'm sorry. And Thank you all.

For the last time here on The Beauty of Imperfection,

Comment! Vote!

Bye!

gaara119