Open When Letters

Open When... You need to hear a story

In Spanish class, I was completely lost. Like completely and utterly lost. I never understood anything or what I was doing. I usually tuned out everything and all the noise, because I wouldn't be able to understand anything anyway. This was just the class where I zoned out and spent in the wild realms of my imagination. I just cheated my way through everything and acted all innocent and needy, that's how I passed with an A. I always thought of asking you for your help but sadly you were placed far apart from me. My prince was positioned on the opposite side of the room where I couldn't admire how attractive he was. We were separated and that killed me. And of course I was still crushing over you while you didn't care. You could have thought I was pretty, sure, but you just considered me as another cute girl. Meanwhile, I was deeply in love with you. To me, you were a dream come true. Even if I couldn't come up and hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, and show you my affection and true feelings, a girl can dream.

When lunch came around, I never saw you. Believe me, I looked for you. I wanted to excavate the entire school for chu. I thought that maybe lunchtime would bring us a few major bonding moments that we could share together, but I never managed to locate you. And whenever I did, you were just in the biology classroom. And I knew I couldn't have a cute, private, romantic moment with chu while everyone was around us in a science classroom. Oh, how I hoped and dreamed about one though. I thought about chu all the time my cutie.

Being separated from you in math class was hell. I don't know how I've survived. Basically the only reason I got through the class is because I actually enjoyed the subject and the teacher. Although I can't deny my love for math, I can't deny my love for you either. I honestly missed you during those wasted 90 minutes of a subject that I could have learned myself in half the time. I could have used those minutes to admire my love. I could have used that hour and a half to get to know you more. To interact with you. To see you more often. Seeing you was the best part of my day, did you know that? It's amazing how much a girl will do for a guy when she is deeply in love.

Last period of the day, I see you once more. My last chance to leave an impression upon you. My last chance to communicate with you. Whether it be verbally, or just to catch your eye, I prayed for something from you. Anything at all from you would make my heart race. The feeling of love hit me hard, like a needle that pierced deeply into my heart. And every time you looked at me, smiled, or talked to me, that needle went in deeper. But the more it hurt, the more pain there was, and the more I enjoyed and appreciated it. I wasn't entertained much in the last class, because our professor was a very dead and boring man. If you sat next to me, all my thoughts and feelings would be circling around in my chest until they eventually exploded. If I was next to you, I would talk to you nonstop. I would have never ran out of words to say to you. Eventually I would realize how much I am annoying and bothering you, and then I would stop. But I think there would have definitely been a more faster and easier connection between us if we sat next to each other in any class. Nonetheless, I still swiveled my little body in my chair every 20 minutes just for a quick glance at the back of your head and your computer screen. I remember when we were taking pictures for our student IDs and you kinda put your hand on my back to make me go ahead of you. That was really adorable and completely made my day. I sometimes feel like I'm obsessed with you because I remember really small and insignificant things like these. Even though it was long ago, I'm pretty sure that's the first time you made physical contact with me. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be crazy like this about you. It's really hard not to when I'm so deeply in love with you. At the end of class, I always attempted to sit next to you in the front of the room. I wanted to plop my fat butt down in the seat right next to my baby. At dismissal, I don't remember us really talking. I always left right away because my mom would tell me to come out immediately. Sometimes I said bye to you, but I was really shy around you as you could tell. Who wouldn't be shy around their crush?