A Chrianna Life

Chapter 1 - Flashbacks & Panic Attacks.

Robyn POV

My eyes darted around the dance floor. No one of interest. My friends always seemed to have a good time but I never did, not anymore. I started to lose interest in partying after what happened. I started to lose interest in everything.. my hobbies, my family & everyone around me. They knew something was wrong, especially my friends, as I hadn't been the same Robyn in years. My closest friends were Melissa (Mel) and Leandra (Lele). I loved them with all my heart, they were my Bajen childhood friends but regardless of how close we were, I couldn't tell them. How do you tell your friends your depressed & you keep getting silly flashbacks and visions? On top of that, clubs only made me feel claustrophobic & nervous after the incident. I had to get out of there.

"Guys, I'm going to the bathroom, see y'all in a bit". I quickly but nervously spat. "Ok, don't be long, the DJ said he's gonna play our song soon" Mel said. I nodded then walked off. Mel was my best friend. Our song was All of Me by John Legend.. we used to put in requests at clubs and sing the lyrics word for word. I know she misses it and I do too but we were happy carefree 21 year olds back then and now I'm just some damaged weak girl. I hate to admit it, to admit that I need help & that I'm not really strong but it's the truth. I look back at that outgoing and flirtatious girl and I don't even know who she is anymore.

I anxiously barged through the stiff large crowd until I reached the exit. I ran outside and instantly swung my back against the wall breathlessly in a haste. It wasn't unorthodox. It happened all the time now. I'd have panic attacks and lose my breath as quickly as I inhaled. My doctor said I just need to breathe and relax, yeah, like that's easy.

I slid down the wall in a trance until my knees were pressed against my chest and started to cry silently. I don't know why but I become very emotional, the slightest things could set me off. I then started to think about the incident. It dominated my mind and even when I tried to keep those thoughts at bay, I found myself lost in them.

*FLASHBACK*

"I can't do this Jase, I really can't, I.. I'm leaving"

"No your not"

"Watch me"

"Baby, you're making a mistake. If you think you're going to leave me to be with someone else, you're obviously stupid. Don't get fucked up Robs"

He grabbed my arm and I snatched it away instantly. I attempted to run but he caught me and mercilessly pushed me into a small cupboard.. Wth. All I heard was "I love you Robyn, I'll never let you go"

I had to break up with him, he become way too controlling and possessive. He used to search my phone without me knowing, follow me around in his car and then deny it (he made me question my sanity when he did this. I used to think, maybe I'm being paranoid, maybe he's not following me, but he was, I saw his face in the side mirror one time), cut himself anytime I threatened to leave him and always told me to take a picture of where I was and who I was with & send it to him. I was losing my mind. It quickly became to much and he left me with no option so I broke up with him which exacerbated his anger. He made me feel really guilty about it and would tell me he's going to jump off of a bridge or slice his throat so I got back together with him as I'd feel awful if he committed suicide because of my callousness. It was only a temporary measure. But now I realise, I made the wrong call. Anyway, when we got back together, he accused me of cheating all the time. Then he'd beat me up and punch me and claimed it was my fault. I was provoking him by looking at other guys and going out all the time with my girls. He once told me he wouldn't hit me if I stopped winding him up and started treating him with respect. I couldn't believe how useless and insecure he made me feel. I had enough and finally plucked up the courage to tell him I'm done with his bullshit and manipulation and that I'm leaving, for good this time. By then, he was infuriated and locked me in a cupboard & I was there for 10 days without food, water or anything. He tied me up and said I could never leave him because I was his. I weeped for ages then I came up with a plan. I told him I loved him and to tie untie me so we could make love. He did as told and we started kissing before I kicked him where it hurts and ran out of the house in a trance. I didn't even realise I looked like a tramp, smelled terrible and sweated my makeup off. I didn't stop till running until about 20 minutes passed. As shattered, and emotionally and physically drained as I was, my body was numb.

Hurt and betrayed, I reported him to the police, made a formal complaint and issued a restraining order. He eventually got sent to prison on many accounts.. domestic violence, kidnapping, assault, stalking etc. He was sent to jail for 7 years with a non parole time of 5 years. That period was probably the worst part of my life. I hated him for so long after that. Recently, anxiety has been plaguing me with the thought of his release from prison. I was an emotional wreck. Nights like tonight were frequent.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

"Excuse me", a raspy but soft voice said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I looked up to see a very handsome clean-shaven caramel skin man smiling at me. He looked very nice but I wasn't in the mood for this.

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Authors Note
Hey, so this is the first real story I've ever wrote on Wattpad. Sorry for all the description & barely any dialogue. The next chapter will be better. In case you haven't guessed, I'm a diehard Chrianna. I'm writing this story just to support them. Please give me some feedback & leave a comment, vote or like so I can know if you guys like it. I'll update tomorrow, I just need some comments. What do you guys think? ❤️.