I Guess This Is What Feels Like To Be Dying

Level 11

Everything was black, and I wasn't really sure if I was dreaming or if I'm hell or heaven or in between. I could control my mind, but I couldn't control where I was heading. All I remember was falling down into an endless black well, it reminded me of Alice in wonderland when she fell down the well. Except this one made me feel like I was worthless all my life and that I deserved what happened to me. I don't remember when I finally snapped out of it or if I reached the end of the black well.

Little by little, Jessica's muffled voice became clearer and I could feel once again my body lying on the floor. I'm not in pain anymore and I can once again breathe normally and my insides don't feel scorched. Still I refuse to open my eyes and acknowledge that my vision is yet again blurry and I will start crying blood at any second.

Jessica's lights steps come closer and closer as I hear her scream with excitement and jumping around in her heels.

"'BLAKE, WAKE UP! THE TRUCK WITH OUR THINGS ARRIVED!" she screams for her brother even though she doesn't need to because she's practically at his door.

Blake says something in return to her sister's shrieks but I can't decipher what it was, as his voice was inaudible inside the room.

''C'mon, get up. We need to help mom. Plus, you also need a bath. What's with the bed covered with sweat? EW.'' Bed covered with sweat?

Again inaudible sounds coming from the room.

"09:30AM." She responds.

"and you should come.'' I finally hear Blake say as his voice is evidently closer.

As the best of my struggles I decide to finally open my eyes, very slowly. I see Blake disappearing into the bathroom and his twin sister leaning against the door frame. I can finally see clearly! I can even see the details in Jessica's necklace. This feels amazing. I reach my hands up and to my relieve, my hands were as beautiful as the day I died, with fingernails and covered with skin. I sigh.

''But I want to help mom with the rest of our belongings and also, some stuff is mine and yours. We should help, Blake.'' Jess whined. I smile at the sight of her tight lips and frown eyebrows.

''We can do it later. School first.'' He told her with a drowsy voice. I really miss school.

Next step was getting up, and I did. I get up slowly without forgetting to look at the floor, the blood, guts and bugs I threw up last night aren't there anymore.

I turned around to see Blake in the bathroom with his eyes closed tightly, he seems nervous too. But about a second later he opens them again and I was blown away by how beautiful his green eyes really are, and how they have this natural shine.

I enter the bathroom and Blake is picking up his toothbrush, his hair all messed up and his face red and sweaty. I try to brush off these thoughts about how handsome he is. Truth is, I was never the type of looking to boys and really tell if there are cute of not. I was one to always hang with my sister and focus on drawing.

I look at myself in the mirror, fearing that my face is still without bits and pieces and my teeth are broken and jagged. But then again I was relieved when my face was back to its old self. It was clean and with its perfect shade of pale blue, and my lips smooth and blue mixed with a little purple. Ever since I died I kept with this skin tone and now I admit that I really like it.

But still one thing is marked in me from the previous night. My eyes are still pitch black even though I'm able to see normally. I feel frighten from this "condition", but I really hope that it disappears. Maybe when I finally kill that beast that torments my dying life.