Kiss My Eyes And Lay Me To Sleep

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Credit to Navangely on archive of our own.

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Peter is dying. His mind understands that the poison is running through his veins at a rapid speed, depriving him of more and more precious moments by every minute. He understands that he probably won't have the chance to grow old, but the pain caused by the arrow in his side is preventing him from fully realizing it. His mouth tastes like iron and he wonders when he started coughing up blood. He feels like there's not enough air in the world and he knows he's slipping but he doesn't have the strength to panic.

All he sees is Wade's face above him. There are tears running down his face and Peter wishes he could lift his hand to wipe them away. It's not the first time he sees Wade without his mask on but it's the first time he sees him crying and it's breaking his heart. Wade is always cracking jokes and laughing loudly and Peter never meant to make his smile vanish. He never meant to hurt him.

Wade is saying something and despite the darkness singing a lullaby to him, Peter tries his best to focus.

"Please don't go... I'm begging you, Peter, don't leave..." Wade's voice breaks at the end and he looks at Peter like it's his life that is ending. "The world needs you. You're too good, too important... It should've been me. That arrow was meant for me. Why did you do it?!" Anger is clouding his eyes and Peter knows it's directed at him but he doesn't regret what he has done.

"You... didn't see... it," Peter whispers.

"Damn it, you idiot!" Wade shouts. "You know I have a healing factor! I would've survived, no matter what, but you... you can't!"

Peter can't really explain it. It all happened so fast. In one moment, Wade was laughing and bragging to Peter about finishing off their enemies without killing them. In the next, there was an arrow flying straight for him from behind and Peter didn't have time to think. Tony had just warned them a few minutes ago that the weapons of their enemies were poisonous. He moved on instinct. He jumped and pushed Wade out of the way, landing on top of him.

"Spidey, I know I'm hot but do you really want to do this right now in the middle of a battle?"

When Peter didn't answer, Wade looked at his hand clutching his side. Peter's fingers were white and there was an arrow sticking out of his side.

"No...!" Wade carefully turned them over, so he could lay Peter down and hold him in his arms. He shouted for help and tore off Peter's mask, so he could breathe better. "Listen up, baby boy, this is not the time for your heroic shit. You can't just do things like this. Fuck, where is Tin-Man when you need him?!"

"You're... you're safe." Peter winced. It hurt to speak.

"Of course I am! You went and saved me when there was no need to. Even if the poison had killed me, I would've come back. But you...!"

"I want to... see your face." It hit Peter that he wasn't going to last. This was his last chance to see Wade, to really see him. If the lights were meant to go out for him, he wanted it to be Wade who guided him into the darkness.

Wade froze for a moment but didn't argue. He slowly took off his mask. His eyes were like an ocean, full of emotions and Peter felt like drowning. He smiled. He always loved how expressive they were.

"Why are you smiling? You're dying!"

"Your eyes... They're beautiful. I don't know if I ever told you that..." Peter coughed. The poison was already numbing him. "But you should know."

Wade didn't say anything. Peter shivered. It was getting cold...

It is still cold like he has been put into a bathtub filled with ice and Peter struggles to concentrate on their conversation. He wants to tell Wade something. Wade needs to know it before death comes to embrace him.

"It's not... just your eyes. I know... you hate them, but... I think your scars are precious. They show... how strong you are. What you've gone through." Peter feels blood flowing out of the corner of his mouth and he closes his eyes for a second. He has to hurry. "You still have the strength to... go on, despite everything. I... admire you for that."

A shadow of sadness dances on Wade's face. He doesn't reply.

"I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I actually... wanted you to be happy. When I first met you... I hated you. I thought you were a hopeless case. You were the complete... opposite of everything I stand for and... I didn't want anything to do with you. Then I got to know you. You were still annoying... and you made way too many jokes about my ass... but we worked. And after a long time... I had to admit that... we became friends. I told you things I told no one else and... I revealed my identity to you... Because I saw that you could change. I saw your potential. I saw the man you could be." Peter takes a deep breath. His lungs are screaming at him to stop talking but he doesn't care. "And somehow along the way... I don't know when or how it happened... I fell in love with you."

Wade's expression is unreadable and Peter is scared but he goes on.

"I love you. You're wonderful and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. I should've told you sooner... but I was afraid. You always flirted with me... but I didn't know if you were serious. And I didn't want to be rejected... See, Spider-Man is not the perfect hero everyone thinks him to be." Peter smiles but it's a sad smile. "I also have my fears. But since I don't have any time left... I figured I have nothing to lose. And you have to know that... you are loved."

He said it. Wade knows. That's all that matters.

"How is he?!" Suddenly, there are voices around them and Peter sees Tony and Steve behind Wade, with Natasha getting down to him.

"He's dying," Wade says and his voice cracks. Peter wants to hug him, kiss him, bury his face in his neck, all the things lovers do, and the fact that he will never be able to do that hurts more than any poison in the world.

"We won't let that happen." It's Bruce.

"The battle is over. We cleared the way to Avengers Tower." Clint joins them but Wade doesn't look at any of them. His gaze is fixed on Peter and he's looking at him like he's seeing him for the first time.

"We'll take him there now," Tony says. "I'll give him the stabilizer that will hopefully slow down the poison. We don't know what's in it but Bruce and I will come up with something."

Peter is thankful but he's exhausted himself. He can't speak and his eyes flutter shut. He suddenly feels Wade planting a feather like kiss on them and he's so gentle, it breaks Peter a little.

"We won't let you die, Peter," Steve sounds so sure and Peter desperately wants to believe him.

Because the last thing he hears before darkness claims him is Wade whispering into his ear.

"I will be there when you wake up."

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