Idiot Brigade

So Close

As columns of smoke rose from the rubble, I could not help but think of how beautiful it looked. The horrible destruction of the day's past carved through the settling dust and debris. The towering buildings of this once proud city now laid in pieces. Fires raged throughout the former business district. The smell of sulfur filled the air, the atmosphere hot from the earlier events. Screams could be heard in the distance. The clean-up crew discovered survivors.

I stood among the bodies of the dead, my cloak covering my face in a sea of black, gazing at the serene image surrounding me. I lay my arms at my sides, weary from the latest skirmish. The fighting extended far past what I prepared myself for. I needed to shut my eyes, just for a moment. I need to rest...my eyes close. I feel sleep's sweet embrace smothering me. I slump to my knees, my sword stabbing into the dirt while I lower. The external distractions fade away into the background of my consciousness. Finally. I can get the rest I desperately need.

Screams ring in my ears. The blood and tears of thousands dead throws itself into my eyes. The smoke from rising fires fills my lungs. I fight the urge to cry for help. The blood and tears blind me. The screams continue ringing in my ears, until I can hear no more. I gasp for a breath, choking on the smoke.

What have you done? A voice cries out in my head. You were supposed to save them, to save everyone. "I know!" I scream back. "I know..."

You said it yourself, you were going to free the world from the East Inoro tyrants. The voice taunts me, mocks me. Now look at what has become of you. The great Dark Rai, now the enemy of his ideals. "I'm sorry!" I cry out. "I tried to save them! How could I know? How could I know how they would react? How could I know what actions my soldiers would take? How could I know..."

Liar. The voice coldly stated. You knew what would happen. You knew. You suppressed the idea. You thought it would work. It always does, doesn't it? I fell to my stomach, struggling to lift myself up.

"I tried to save them! I really did..." I said meekly. The voice laughed harshly.

Liar. The smoke forced its way down my throat and back into my lungs. I tried to fight it, but my strength fails me. Liar. I felt myself drifting away, the world fading into black.

"Dark Rai?" I heard a faint voice calling out to me. Am I dead? A sense of relief flooded me. Maybe I'm dead. My prayers have been answered. I can finally rest...

"Dark Rai!" The voice rang louder. Let me be, I begged. Let me die. God knows it would be a favor to the world.

"Dark Rai!" I felt myself being lifted up. No, no, no. Don't. My entire body spasmed like a rag doll, shaken by a person I dared to call a friend.

"Let go of me!" I grumbled. Jumping to my feet, I threw the armor-clad figure into a pile of crumbling cement. I laid my head in my hands. Warmth and wetness dripped onto my fingers. Quickly, I wiped it away. My friend gave me a weird look.

"You alright there, Dark Rai? You seem out of it." Funny, I could almost hear the concern in his voice. I can't tell him the truth. We're so close to our goal! The less he knows, the higher morale will be. The last thing we need now is an emotional wreck of a leader.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I force a smile. "Just a little tired is all." I felt nauseous. I need to stop lying to my friends like this, but how can I? I can't jeopardize everything just because I feel sad. I can't be so selfish. I gaze into his chestpiece. The once beautiful suit now looked dull and worn. Smoke and dirt stuck to the blue metal, caked on from the endless attacks. Scratches adorned him, some minor debris scrapes, others massive gashes from blades. The war destroys him everyday, yet he continues to fight for me. For the Brigade. Relief floods his face from my words.