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Matty (third person)

Dunno the fucking date, lost track of time,
Well fortunately that occurrence with Matty was a completely stupid idea. After that dream. . . that dream that seemed to fuck my sleep deprived mind up. Until I believed it! Woke up and realized I was safe.My pupils dilated haha. . . I remember the really bright light of the officers just screeching at me. It shook me up. Something felt so wrong when i walked into the house this morning. I was alone, it was really quiet with the boys gone. That night I just unpacked with lonely music blaring the back from my phone. The whole time I thought about George, how much I love him, but the things I've done. They could hurt him. . . .I hate my mind for thinking so coldly when I think about Matty and where he and I stand. It's been boring without Amber to talk to when the two are at work. Yeah, I em quit my job! Shameful yeah, but I'll find something better for sure.

I kind of thought about turning myself in. To ease the paranoia I seemed to always posses after the event that night. George made a good portion of keeping me positive about it and all. Nothing seems to work for me, I always think about what I've done. How I can never take it back. Twenty five to life. . .
I guess that's all I wanna say for now. Don't pray for me.
Luana X

The air in his lungs seemed to dissolve when his shaking hands set down the black gel pen on the bed. The journal sat loosely in his lap as Matty started down at the wrecked hand writing. All he could wonder is why she had journal, no date and such descriptive self thoughts about what she's been dealing with for the last 2 months. When Matty read the words he felt weaker, he wondered what she would turn herself in for. What could she have done that involved George? Matty hadn't had a clue but whatever it was it wasn't legal. A bitter taste floods his tongue and Matty suddenly feels sick. Brushing back his curls he thinks long and hard.

He thinks about ripping off her blouse that one night, or pouncing on her in the bathroom like some wild animal. He realized that he treats Luana like she's toy. Oh bod did that make him feel guilty enough to collapse on the floor and cry. For fucks sake she lived with him now. Sleeping in the same bed as her boyfriend George Daniel. While he, Matty Healy, slept alone in his room most nights. Holding a pillow almost wishing it was her or some drunk blonde he would forget the next day. He thought about pouring something down his throat to wash away what he just read. But the words printed eon the inside of his skull. He flipped to the next blank page and left her hearty few words to at least tip her that they needed to have a chat. He then put the book back under her pillow and left the room with no thought.

When the tired lad goes back to his room he lies down without covers over him. His room a mess like his mind he closed his eyes thinking about what she and his best lad would or could be doing right now. They said date night but Matty felt something else in those words, like they had another meaning.

Luana

"I would have to say the same." He laughs and swings his arms from side to side, kicking a few rocks on the sidewalk. My hands felt warm as we walked linked with each other. My gloves helped too, and the steady wind made the weather just bearable at this time. The city lights barely illuminate our path, it was comfortable.

"It's gotta be the best movie I have ever watched." I pipe up and let go of Gee for a moment to spin around and just smile and encounter my surroundings. I had a buzz going on for myself even thought I hadn't had a pint of liquor in me or single puff of a drug near me. I was high on life, happy with Gee right by my side. He watches me dance around in this skimpy skirt I picked for tonight's date. A faux fur black coat hung over my shoulder obviously a bit to big on me supposing it was George's property. There was a smell of humidity as we walked.

"That's great baby girl." He smiles tucking his hands in his pocket as I walked forward. Something just kept me so happy was just as simple as a human being with a beating heart.

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