I'm such an ass.
The warehouse was surely abandoned, and it looked even crappier on the inside than it did the outside. Cobwebs hanging over each of the rusted metal shelves, around tipped over vehicles. Lamp light flickering above my head, barely illuminating the large space despite the lights hanging all around the warehouse. This place had gone downhill so quickly. Nobody cared to build it back up.
"Darrell will guide you through things for the first few days, Ethan," he told me, clapping me on the shoulder and smiling at me. "I know you'll get the hang of it."
I shook my head and swiped away tears that stung my eyes in anger, heading for the main office on the second floor. The metal steps creaked underneath my feet, but held. The office door wasn't there, leaned up against the wall instead. On the small brown desk in the corner was a pile of five leatherback books, dust and cobweb covered. Manuals, I think. Next to the stack of books, was a map which had also dusted over, had sprawled red and black lines all over it. Was he trying to get out of this place, too?
"I'm promoting you, Ethan," he smiled at me, a full-toothed, white smile that showed he was proud. "You've done an exceptional job around here. I think you deserve it." Reaching over, he pulled a book out of a pile, one that had a white cover. "Read that over, make sure you know what's going on. I doubt you'll need it, but you can never be too careful."
I ran my fingers over the book, leaving three marks over the cover that had wiped away dust. I wiped them on my jeans and pulled the map forward, scanning it with both intent eyes. I know what you're doing, he snorted back laughter. Trust me, you won't get far. You'll dump her off at home and then run into her again, you know that. What's the point?
I didn't answer, running a finger along one of the lines, one of the roads running from Millbrook.
There was a laugh. What use is giving her that knife, huh? If some badass comes around she isn't gonna stand a chance. I wouldn't respond. Why do you keep that thing anyways? You've already changed, Ethan. You haven't killed in hours, hell, you're denying that you want to kill the girl. Stab her and get it over with.
With clenched fists, I grabbed the navy blue hat off of an empty bookshelf, shaking the dust off of it, and headed back down the stairs. They groaned this time, but I ignored it and made my way to the exit. I'd sort of lied to her; I needed to check something, not grab something. I thought of the hat as a souvenier. A memory. I couldn't get any worse than this.
Outside, Nevada was nowhere to be seen. No blood, no knife, no her. My eyes darted around the yard frantically, until I finally took the time to slow down, and spotted her. Leaned up against the passenger side of the truck, holding the knife in one hand, looking around the yard for any movement. She wouldn't find any, all for me. I hit the front of the truck, causing her to jump back and raise the knife in my direction. Smiling a little, I headed for the driver's side, when I stopped. Her cheeks and eyes were red; as if she had been crying.
Before I could speak up, she slid the knife across the hood and I caught it, tucking it away. In silence she began to open up the passenger door, and I took quick, large steps over to her, holding the door open when she tried to close it. My lips formed a grim line, and she looked away, but I could still see the tears in her eyes. "I know you're taking me back," she muttered. "Let's get going. We have a long drive ahead of us."
Well, damn. I set the hat on the dashboard and rubbed my eyes. "How did you know?" I asked her wearily, swallowing back a yawn.
"I could see it in your eyes, Ethan," still she didn't look up; she continued to stare down on her feet. I didn't blame her. "This isn't my life. I can't spend God knows how long running from the police. I have a life back in Millbrook, in case you didn't notice." My mouth opened, and then closed. "I'm not as strong as you are. I can't kill..." Nevada lifted her head and stared up at me. It was obvious it was hard for her to say those things; and it was hard for her to continue. I couldn't say much myself. There was something on her mind, something troubling her. What could I say to her? What could I tell her that would make things even remotely better? "So let's just go," she said softly.
We can't, I wanted to tell her. I don't want to go back. I want to stay with you. "If you're sure about this," I choked out, standing up straight and closing the door. Slowly, I walked over to the driver's side and hopped in. For almost a minute, I only sat there; I didn't start the thing up, I didn't move. I stared down on the steering wheel.
"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us," Father told me, staring down on me with a small smile. "That's something I have always remembered; that's something I have always lived by. I hope you'll remember that; it might help you some day, you wait and see."
Tears spiked my eyes again. Despite my efforts, I couldn't hold them back. My arms folded over the steering wheel, I bowed my head. And for the first time since Father's death, I actually cried.
~~~
I'm not going to read over this Chapter... Don't ask about the song attached to this in the external link please. I'm feeling emotional right now.. please don't ask..
