A Mere Observer

Seattle Sunset

I don't know how I made it to the hotel. I sat on the ground next to my bed, staring at the wall. How I got here was a blur of rain and street signs. Now as I sat, my drenched hair soaking into the comforter I leaned my head on, I asked my cold self, 'What are you doing?'

Not right now as in sitting in my drenched clothes but in general, more specifically a few minutes ago, when I was losing myself in Trent's kiss. One second I was walking in the other direction from him and the next I had to pry myself off his very body. It was time I set my thoughts and feelings in order, and that meant dry clothes would have to wait.

First things first, if what just happened was any indication, I liked Trent. A lot. Enough that when I thought of how I could still feel the ghost of his lips on mine, excitement and desire overruled any denial. And denial was what overruled the Mel that walked out on Trent at the convention. I tried to be convinced that the feelings I had weren't strong enough to feel any kind of regret for leaving him with the risk of never seeing him again. But a part of that Mel is still me. She was right, even if she didn't consciously think it, that something more between us would end once I boarded that plane tomorrow. Which is why she tried to walk away from it.

So I liked Trent, but I didn't like the inevitability of being heartbroken.

But feelings don't just walk away into the rain. They'll make you turn back and kiss yourself into mindlessness making everything worse.

So, what were my options? As I saw it, I had about three. One, I could continue along with Trent without a care in the world and hope for the best. Two, I could give in to the fear of heartbreak and cut all ties with him. Or three, I could call Lee and ask her what I should do.

Three was obviously the best option.

Still on the floor, though now in a curled up ball of wet-Mel, I waited for her to pick up. I was practiced in this. I knew by the fifth ring, for whatever reason, she would answer.

Just as I expected, "Hello?"

"Hey, Lee."

"Mel, what's up?"

I poured it all out. Every detail from the beginning. She listened, only asking what I meant when I mentioned the Omies. When I was finally finished after about twenty minutes of talking, I realized just how cold I was.

Rubbing my goosebump arms, I listened as she said, "First of all, why am I just now hearing about this Trent? Second, Markus went into ultimate ass mode. Third, I'm glad you were able to put him in his place because that was long time coming. Fourth, thank Trent for me for... well, putting Markus in his place. Fifth, who's Becca again? Sixth-"

"Lee, wait, too much at once."

"Sixth, what's this thing tomorrow night?"

I didn't actually know anything about it besides it being tomorrow, Trent was staying for it, and I would be leaving before I could find out.

"I don't actually know."

"Would Markus know?"

Hm. "He might."

Right on cue, Markus came through the door, originally with a smile on his face from who-knows-what until he spotted me in a wet heap on the ground.

Shoot. Maybe I should have changed.

"Ask him."

"Mel," he suddenly looked panicked, "What happened? Are you okay?"

Once he came closer I noticed he didn't look so dry himself. Ew, wet brother.