Dark Identity(Percy Jackson Fanfiction)

New Beginnings

"For the longest time," I sigh as I perch on a boulder as I expect to be here for a while. "I have held no emotions, no real ties. I just was. Now, I have accepted you into my heart and allowed my feelings to return. If I were to come near her now, she would not recognize me. Not by voice, not by presence, not by appearance, not even by scent, or memories of a past far behind the both of us. I have no idea if watching my reactions around her will clue you in. My aura may respond to her strangely, my heart may beat irregularly, I am unaware of what my soul, my mind, and my body will do if presented in front of her. "

"She gave you the choice you spoke of earlier, then, correct?" Atalanta inquires.

"Yes, she was responsible for that." I look up at the royal blue sky. "I was always so enticed by her eyes, mesmerized so by her radiant and carefree smile, in love with everything there was about her. After going through so much together, I finally broke as a person trying to save her one day. I did so in a horrifying way, I frightened her after that. It broke my heart. I knew it did and knowing that crushed it even more, I had hurt her in trying to preserve her life. I would do it again, even knowing what would happen to me, to her. And, as I watched her grow even more terrified, see her slowly push herself away from me, I decided to let her slip from my grasp. For reasons others might consider ridiculous."

"What reasons?" Artemis questions softly.

I look down to find all of them have tears welling, spilling, or just wet eyes. "The home we fought to protect," I let them see my ancient smile, but nothing else. "It was her home first. It was my fault and I would not dare to ruin it for her. I refused to make that place somewhere she was mortified to return to, afraid of calling it her home. I never belonged there anyways, not really. I was viewed as an omen, an outcast. I should have died so many times, but destiny dragged me out no matter what. I wanted her to be happy and I let go because I knew that would be the only way to give her what she truly wanted. I was no longer able to protect her because in doing so, I lost her. I separated myself from her and I felt betrayed, but I will never hate her. She was a part of me for so long. To cut her out bled my heart and wounded my soul. I will never regret my decision to save her that day, no matter the pain it has caused me. If I did not do so then, it would be worse than what I can still feel now. Knowing I lost her because I was afraid of myself, afraid of scaring her, afraid to lose her, doing it anyway because of all that fear. I miss her, but I will never go back to her. She deserves better than an old creature like me. I left to give her what remained of the home she had from her memories, one that always seems to change."

"She was a lucky woman." Phoebe admits.

I chuckle. "In the beginning, we were children. I fell in love with her sparkling eyes, her cheery laugh, that spirit she always had, even when faced with danger. Near the end, we were only young adults, too scarred to be treated like children. She was older than me by a few months and taller when we were kids. I was short until after the first few years. She made my world shine so bright, it was like I had never seen color before until my eyes laid on her. As we grew, I just got trapped in her spell more and more. I would have done anything for her...still would. After I left, I became a recluse. I refused to come near anyone. I drifted out of interest, giving up my life."

"Why did you not try to fade?" Artemis asks.

"I made a promise, one I intend to keep for the rest of my existence. It is held by two entities and a fire so determined to burn for eternity. My hope will never die out, though lost my hope is in my life. With you, I suppose it now rests. The question is not that it exists, but are you able to rekindle it? Are you able to make me believe in the life I lead now? Or will I be a shell to protect you always, instead of a brother to not only love you, but guard you with his life?" I slide to my feet on the grass. "We shall continue this depressing conversation later. I feel the annoyance of several gods resounding around us at the missing goddess from her throne, as unusual as it is." I lightly place my hand on Artemis' arm and flash her away.