Much About Me

Chapter 1

Freshman Year

 1

September 1989

5th Tuesday

I’m starting a new journal for a new chapter in my life. Tomorrow I will be a freshman in high school. I’ve been dreaming about this day for forever. Both my mother and sister have had the time of their lives in high school. My sister, who graduated in June, was the queen bee. So I have big shoes to fill.  

Even though, I have the legacy of my older sister Marissa to hide behind, I know it’s going to be hard, especially since I was “a nobody” in middle school. Being shy did not help my social status. I sort of just blended into my grade, not really making any big impact. But this year I’m planning to transform myself into my sister.

Somehow I’m going to have to become more outgoing and really start caring about the way I look. No more sweaters and jeans. I have to make sure I look good every day; starting with tomorrow.

I think I’ve already tried on a million different outfits. I’ve finally settled on a short jean skirt, with a hot pink tank top, and my black strappy sandals. I wish I had a better body to fill out the outfit, for example some breast would be nice. I wish Renee were here to reassure me. She always makes me feel better about myself.

I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. I haven’t seen her since the middle of July when she headed to see her family in Myrtle Beach. I miss her so much. She’s my best friend. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. She says she has a huge surprise for me. I can’t wait to see what it is.

Renee and I are headed for one big adventure. I know the next four years are going to be the best years of our lives. I can’t wait to begin them!!!

6th Wednesday

My first day of high school is officially over. It was one of the scarcest days I have ever lived through. I started the day by getting a ride from my dad. When I got to school I jumped out of his navy blue BMW and stood outside of the school of for at least twenty minutes trying to get the courage to walk in.

I could feel my heart beating rapidly as I walked through the gigantic cherry red trimmed glass doors of Cypress Oak High School. Every step I took made my legs feel like they were going to collapse, bringing my whole body down to the cold pale tiled floor.

Everyone around me seemed to know each other. I could hear the different screeches from girls when they saw each other. The jocks, fashion elites, fashion disasters, nerds, wanna-be-gangsters, dopers, and nonconformist surrounded me, making me feel so out of place. I don’t belong to any of these groups. My nerves started to take over my whole body, and I couldn’t stop my fourteen-year-old frame from shaking.

I wrapped my arms around my body hoping to become invisible. I looked around to see if I could find Renee or anyone else I knew, but all I saw was a sea of unrecognizable faces.

I was about to turn and run out the door when I saw Renee heading towards me with an enormous smile. Renee’s surprise was herself.  She totally looked different. She has transformed herself into a Greek goddess. She’s seemed to have lost about fifteen pounds; added golden highlights in her already perfect dirty blond hair, which made her sage green eyes even brighter; and was even dressed differently. Gone were the tight jeans and t-shirts with funny sayings, instead she had on a short green dress that matched her eyes with a black belt wrapped around it. It made her chest look bigger then it is. She also chose to wear black pointy heels. They made her legs look supermodel long.

Renee looked like she came straight out of the pages of a fashion magazine. I hate to admit it, but I was a little upset that she had done all this without me. There she was breathtaking, while I stood there looking dull as could be. I felt really jealous, but on the other hand I felt very proud of her.