Chasing Home (NFL)

Can't Forget

"I wasn't talking about your hangover."

I stared at the green tea in my mug. It would be better if I could focus on what was physically wrong with me. As a psychologist, I should have known better, but I was not ready to face my problems just yet.

"You're going to have to talk about it eventually. I'm not going to let you go home until you do." Peyton poured some tea for himself and then sat across the table from me.

"Good. I don't want to go back." There was no way I could face everyone after everything that had happened.

"Then I won't make you breakfast until you speak."

I looked at him in surprise. Then I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, my curls tangled from bed. He was right. Maybe it was best to get it over with, and then I could move on with my life like nothing had happened. "Ok, I'm not fine."

Peyton nodded. "That's a start. Are you still angry?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore. You were right. I can't hate Tom, no matter how much I want to. I still find it hard to believe that this is all happening." I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand when I felt them grow moist.

"So do I, so let's talk about that."

I frowned. "You still think he's innocent?"

"Not innocent, but I think there's more to the story than first meets the eye."

I sighed. I did not have the strength to argue with him, but neither was I able to using the reasoning required to do what he was suggesting. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that actions speak louder than words. Think about it: hasn't Tom done everything he could to show that he cares about you?"

"Well, yes, but he was just trying to gain my trust." A nagging thought told me this wasn't true.

"Even saving your life?"

"I never said he's evil. Anyone would do that."

"Not everyone would jump in a freezing pond after someone he didn't care about."

I shrugged. "Maybe." I did not want to consider the possibility. I just wanted to move on.

"I'm just saying that his actions don't match his words, and I would be inclined to believe his actions."

My eyebrows furrowed in thought. "So he's lying about not caring about me?"

"It's possible."

"Why would he want to do that?" It sounded counterintuitive but plausible. Still, with my current lack of energy, I needed my brother to do the hard thinking for me.

"There could be a number of reasons. Maybe he's scared of his own feelings because they're so strong. Maybe, for some reason, he thinks you would be happier without him."

"Then why can't he come out and say that?'

Peyton shrugged. "People don't always make sense. You should know that."

Point taken. "Let's say you're right. What am I supposed to do?" I knew that, when Tom had his mind set on something, there was nothing anyone could do to change him.

"Talk to him," Peyton said plainly. "Get the truth out of him."

I had a feeling he would say that. I brought my mug to my lips and took a sip. Then I lowered the mug and stared at its contents. "Why try when all we do is fight?"