Keira

e l e v e n

Keira used to believe in love.

She believed in soulmates. She found it curious how people could find each other and come from different backgrounds and have different experiences and yet be perfect for each other. She longed to feel what that was like. Being in actual love. So she watched sappy romantic comedies and fell in love with strangers. She did things for the rush and came up short every time. Because you can't force something like love. She was living off a continual high of too many friends and parties and late nights out.

Ignorance is bliss.

Keira remembers stumbling into her house at one am. She remembers walking into the middle of a battlefield where the weapons were words and tears. She remembers feeling cold. She remembers running to her room to hide. She remembers watching one of her parents speed off in their car, the tires squealing on the driveway and down the street. She remembers the deathly silence that ensued. She remembers hearing someone curse and then cry. She remembers closing her eyes and not wanting to wake up.

But she woke up. She pretended that last night didn't exist. She acted as if the silence wasn't palpable. She willed herself not to break down in class, gritting her teeth and keeping her face down.

People thought she was purposely giving them attitude. She just didn't want to talk to anyone. People thought she acted like she was too good for them. She just wanted to be alone. People thought she was being cold. She just didn't want to feel emotion.

She kept kissing the lips of boys and beer bottles, hoping to find love at the bottom of each one.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.