"Hello?" Pt. 1

May 4th 2016

"Fine. You nightdream about me."

"Shut up."

"Where's the real version of the article? Is it as full of similar compliments?"

"I don't think being called cocksure and arrogant is a compliment."

"I was talking more about my-"

"Yeah, your abs and your beard. Actually, I think I took that line out. I didn't want you to get a huge ego about it. But, never mind, it happened anyway."

"Babe, you hurt me. It wouldn't have killed you to compliment me, you know."

"Actually, it probably would have. -Jasmine!- She can't hide forever."

<<You yelled, boss.>>

"Oh, this is going to be fun. Keep me on the line!"

"You enjoy other people's pain too much, Daniel."

<<Urgh, what is he doing on the phone?>>

"-Be nice, Jasmine, because you're already in my bad books.-"

<<Why, what did I do? As I recall, who was the one that brought Ben and Jerry over to your place five nights in a row and watched Bridget Jones' Diary with you? Yes, that was me. Why? Because that hot piece of ass trampled over your heart.>>

"I changed my mind, this is not going to be fun."

"Suck it up, Whitaker. -Jasmine, care to explain how Daniel came to be in possession of Article Five?-"

<<I sent it to him.>>

"-Wrong answer, Jasmine.-"

<<Like I care. Now, was there anything else you needed me for? Another coffee run? A tampon? That pair of Charlotte Olympia and Agent Provocateur thigh high boots that just arrived in the wardrobe? They're in your size.>>

"Oh, she's good. Bribing her way back into your good book with shoes."

"-The heeled boots?-"

<<Six inches.>>

"-Grab them for me before Yasmina from the beauty department gets her hands on them. Fight off anyone that gets in your way. If that doesn't work, you know what to do.-"

<<Yes. Bitch slap them.>>

"-Pull rank, Jasmine. Remember who you work for.-"

<<Yes, ma'am.>>

"Really? She won you over with shoes?"

"She only thinks she's won. When she comes back with my shoes, I'll berate her for sending you the wrong article. But at least I'll be berating her in fabulous heels."

"Sneaky, Clément."

"I like to think of it as 'genius.'"

"That you are."

"I just did a hair flick but you couldn't see it."

"Haha. Ok, I'll have to trust you on that."

"I'll find a copy of the real article and I'll forward it to you. I'm really sorry for sending you the wrong article, Daniel."

"Don't be. I actually found it rather amusing. Your writing is really sophisticated when you're pissed off."

"My writing is sophisticated, period."

"Yes, but it's especially so when you're angry."

"It's especially so every time."

"I'm not wining this argument, am I?"

"No."

"In that case, I give up."

"What? Is this Daniel Whitaker surrendering to me?"

"I'd surrender to you any day."

"Ok, that sounds weirdly feminine in a really sexual kind of way."

"On reflection, I agree with you."

"Ok, who are you?"

"What?"

"First you give in and now you're agreeing with me? Where's the real Daniel Whitaker?"

"Right here."

"Nah, I don't believe you. You're an imposter."

"Haha, well this imposter has to go. Elias and Nola are over and I've left them unsupervised in the kitchen. It's amazing that my fire alarms haven't gone on off yet."

"Elias still trying to be Dad of the Year?"

"Yep. Funnily enough, Jenna's been asking if Elias is an imposter, too."

"I'll bet. Right, off you go, check that your kitchen is still intact."

"You're making me nervous when you say things like that. What if they have destroyed it?"

"Then you're shit out of luck."

"Not helping, Sophie."

<<Hey, boss! Look what I got you.>>

"-My boots!-"

"You sounded like Gollum."

"Piss off, baboon."

"Love you too, Soph."

"..."

"I mean... uh... bye, 'gator?"

"Yeah, bye, Daniel."

~*~*~

A/N

I'm not sure why I loved writing this update, but I really did!

Danphie are back! Kinda. Almost.

Sarah, xx