"Hello?" Pt. 1

March 15th 2016

'Eejit' is the Irish way of saying 'idiot.' I think that's about all that needs explaining for this update.

Now, who wants to see Sophie get a little bit embarrassed?

Sarah xx

~*~*~

"You're quite the hit amongst the ladies- and some gentlemen- at my office, Daniel."

"I am?"

"They're all overly excited about my upcoming interview with you. Some have even handed me question sheets that they want you to answer."

"Questions? Like what?"

"Eye colour, height and relationship status were the recurring ones."

"Easy questions. Eye colour is-"

"Blue with flecks of green within them."

"Right. I'm-"

"Dead on six feet tall."

"I'm sure I'm a few millimetres over being six feet dead on."

"Maybe, but what's a few millimetres, really? Oh, and before you mention your relationship status, you're single."

"Damn, Sophie, it's like you don't have to interview me at all."

"Not for the superficial crap, no."

"My eye colour is not 'crap.'"

"No, but it is superficial. Now, my question sheet is far more intriguing."

"What, like which Kama Sutra position is my favourite?"

"If you want to answer that, then by all means, go ahead. My actual question however was- when all is said and done, will you have said more or done more?"

"I, uh... um... well... ask me a simple question."

"Have you ever been the kind of friend that you want as a friend?"

"I'd like to think so... I don't know. You'd have to ask Elias. Or yourself. Ask me a simpler question."

"As a career, you're heavily involved in helping end marriages. Has your career choice affected how you see love and marriage, or are you able to keep your profession and personal life separate?"

"My career choice hasn't affected my viewpoint when it comes to love and marriage. My past personal experiences with relationships, however, has. Some days, I will see clients that have clung on in the desperate hope that they can rekindle, or find what they have lost. They, despite their situation, still believe in that love that was once there and I have to be optimistic that they're right. Of course, there are other days where you're thankful that divorce is an options. Still, I'm a firm believer that, if you marry the right person, the word divorce is meaningless."

"Can I quote you on that?"

"Yes. Do you need me to say it again?"

"Nope. I got it."

"Any other questions?"

"Not today. Unless you want to answer some other superficial ones, like, what's your favourite food?"

"Well, until recently, I would have said t-bone steak was the best thing ever."

"Until recently? Why, what's you favourite now?"

"Well, this amazingly talented chef-in-disguise I know recently made marinated lamb and ratatouille for me that was simply out of this world delicious. So, I'm going to go with that."

"Out of this world, huh?"

"Undeniably."

"If you were going out on a Saturday night, where would you go?"

"I don't know. Elias' house? Your place? To be honest, I'm not much of a going out type of person, so..."

"Oh, while I remember! St. Patrick's Day is Thursday and my father has this annual thing where we all get together and celebrate. Wanna join the party?"

"Don't I have to be Irish?"

"No. You just need to look good in green, wear a shamrock, say 'eejit' a couple of times, do a quick Irish jig, eat some colcannon, drink Guinness, listen to U2 or Thin Lizzy or The Dubliners, write a limerick and paint your face the colour of the Irish flag."

"Really, green?"

"You'll look good in green. If you're lucky, I can swipe Lucas' 'Kiss me, I'm Irish' t-shirt."

"Free kisses, huh?"

"Only if my mother or Charlotte gets a hold of you."

"Where's the party?"

"At the London house."

"No parade?"

"The parade has been. Which is stupid because it's not St Patrick's Day until Thursday. Still... we can have our own parade, if you'd like."

"No, I'm ok with no parade, thanks."

"You're just scared I'm going to make you dress up as a leprechaun, or something."

"I wasn't but now I kinda am."

"I told you there's no parade, so don't worry about it."

"Even without a parade, you still might make me dress up as a leprechaun."

"I won't. I'm not that childish."

"Of course you're not. You're extremely mature."

"I know. It's a burden being an adult."

"Haha. Just text me the time and address and I'll see you on Thursday. Do you need me to bring anything to the party?"

"Nope, just bring yourself and we'll be good to go."

"Ok."

"Now, back to these question sheets- what's your favourite Kama Sutra position?"

"... The Supernova."

"..."

"..."

"I think this conversation is over."

"Embarrassed, Sophie?"

"Slightly. Which is weird because I'm totally French when it comes to sex, but this? I'm going to need therapy to un-see the image I currently have in my mind."

"Haha. The mighty Sophie Clément is embarrassed! I win at life!"

"You're such a freak, Daniel."

"Learnt from the best, sweetheart."

"Don't I know it. Right, I'm getting off the phone now so I can call my shrink instead. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Ok. No! Wait! I'd like to change one of my answers."

"Ok, shoot."

"My favourite Kama Sutra position is The Padlock."

"Good bye, Daniel!"

"Haha! Laters, Soph."