Dear Cole

Being Yours

To be honest, i loved being yours. I loved holding your hand and listening to how your day went. You had a lot of work to do then, remember? That's why we didn't have so many dates alone. It was usually my flexible time adjusting to yours.

Oh, remember that time we hung out with your best friend on his porch? That was fun, i have to admit, but there was just something missing. You knew that, too.

You wanted to see if you could hang with the both of us, instead of deciding which one is more important to you. That would've been a hard decision, but it bothered me that you couldn't sacrifice yourself this one time and choose me. After all, you spent a lot more time with your bestie.

I think i was a good girlfriend. I tried to be. I wasn't complaining, asking for stuff or following your every move. But now that i think about it, if i asked for more attention, which i needed, maybe you would give it to me.

I don't know.

What else i liked? Let's see...

I liked the walks, but i loved it more if we just found a quiet place to talk. I wanted to embrace the talk because it was important. The great thing was kissing also, but here's a note- don't swallow a girl with French kisses. That is just way too much.

I loved your hugs because, i swear, they felt like home. And i was missing home, especially while mine was falling apart. So i was kinda forming my other family, with people who actually deserved to be in my life. And you were quickly getting your spot in it.

Then how did we get to a point where i would lose you in such a confusing way?

When did you stop being an important part of my life?

To tell you the truth, you didn't. I still think about you and miss you deeply.

I wish to see you again.