Dear Cole

The Truth

So I realized there was much more to your life as we continued seeing each other. That night when we met up, you told me everything I was afraid to ask for so long. Thank you for trusting me so much, which I had no idea you did.

I didn't have a clue about anything that you are going through. You broke my heart just by telling me your story. Then I figured out why you needed me so much, why you had to have someone who is going to be there for you all the time. I was glad that you have chosen me because I wanted to help you, I wanted to heal you. God, I wish i could have healed you.

I tried my best, you know. I really did. But it was hard not only because there was so much going on in your life and I needed time to process everything, but also because I had to be healed myself. Everybody has some kind of a baggage they have to carry their whole life. Ours were our families.

The scars we both had were on our hearts. I always wished I could just put my hand on a person's wound and make it heal. But where could I put my hand now? On your heart perhaps.

I really hope i helped you during the years, I tried my best. Remember when we promised never to hurt each other as long as we live? Did we keep that promise?

I don't know. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I want you to tell me everything, just like I'm doing right now. I hope this letter gets to you.

Just like books got to me and art got to you. We both found our way, I guess.

I haven't seen you for so long. I could say that I missed you, but would it really matter? For some reason, I'm dying to see who else is in your life and who was wiling to take my place.

I thought everyone is irreplaceable. Maybe we all live an illusion. Maybe it's all a lie.