Dear Cole

World Crashes

Remember when we had that serious, deep talk on one of our walks? You felt bad for making it so awkward, but i loved it. I don't quite like small talk, i like long conversations on important subjects, no matter how weird they sound.

I like stories about childhood and dreams, life goals and nightmares, your biggest fears. What makes you happy, nervous, excited, terrified. Tell me all about what you wanted to be but never got to, biggest world problems and what difference you want to make. What do you think about when you're alone, at night, when you're going home.

That day you told me what i was afraid to admit to myself.
,,What annoys you about me? ''you asked.
,, Hm... You interrupt me when i talk. And about me?''
You stopped for a moment,like you were thinking about how to phrase it. Finally, you said:
,, You're not from this world. You tend to get lost in some other one and you ignore me. I don't know what happens to you then, but you do it a lot. "

I laughed then, because i knew i do that. But i just couldn't help myself, it was a part of who i am and i shouldn't be sorry about it. I know i don't belong here and i don't try to blend in with everybody else. That just wasn't me. I can't change it, even though it sometimes makes me miserable.

I knew we weren't from the same world. At first, you would think we have the similar kind of craziness, but we are actually very different. I'm sure you figured it out yourself after some time.

I can't remember what else you told me, but i knew i wasn't up for having a boyfriend that day. Sometimes I miss you a lot and i can't wait to see you, but when we finally meet, i get disappointed. I realized you needed me, but you weren't what i needed. I guess that's what got in our way.

Anyway, i wasn't in the mood because i remembered someone who used to be my everything. I missed that person a lot and all i really wanted is to be left alone. But i was with you, so that was out of question.

Wow, this sure is becoming a long letter, haha. I hope you are starting to understand. Please, at least try.