paradox (fanfic)

In Arkham

My home for the longest time now is the infamous Arkham Asylum. The place was located in the middle of nowhere so that if someone escaped that everyone would know where they came from because there was nothing else around this part of town. The history of this place is pretty much as old as the town of Gotham itself. The reason for the place had been an in patient mental hospital for those that the world deemed dangerous, and so that the asylum could help them back onto their feet, but as the years passed and the old people left to give the new ones room the place started changing its practices and now no one understands why this one is still alive. While many like it have been shut down due to patients going more insane since being there. What I am trying to say is that the place is falling apart at the seams and no one is ever really doing anything.

Though in a place you would  think is completely messed up instead I find each day we are doing the same thing. All of days are taken up with talking to our "doctors", taking our medication, and being locked up in our rooms with nothing to do. Often I would realize how this place was never to different than a jail. The only difference was the look of the place. There never seemed anything fun in this place to do. Sometimes I liked to say this place was tartarus, but even that place is often more fun than here. 

There was a new warden that came in during the beginning of my time here and he was Hugo Strange. Despite him not actually being new to this place. A lot of patients would say that he was goal orientated and would stop until he got the result he wanted. Which often didn't happen. He doesn't have any hair beside his beard, and wears a pair of pink circle glasses which he always wears  with suites that make him look like he is going somewhere fancy after work. It often just showed his ego to anyone who could see him. 

Well back to the story as I sit in my jail cell staring at the ceiling with nothing else to do but write. Since that is what I was told to do by Dr. Strange and what he expects is for me to talk about my feelings and what not, but I am not; I will never write about it to him or anything that he would ever ask for. And I mean never. 

I will tell you a secret and  start when my life had become something that I hadn't noticed till now. That was about two years ago on a saturday as I was in my bedroom doing anything I could to not notice my lack of friends. My mother often bossed me around as if she thought I needed to wait hand and foot for her. I pretty much had no life of my own, but each day I had wished for a better and nicer life. I also knew that I wasn't going to get that life until I changed something. 

No one in my hometown was really smart. The only person who could claim that was Edward Nygma and even he admitted to me that he didn't know everything. The funny thing was that even a man as smart as him still would learn when he could. 

I had two ideas to be able to change my situation. One of them was to go on a game show and try to show off my intelligence. Hoping that a group of criminals would want me to join them so that I be able to leave my home. All five of the groups didn't want me. All of them had their reasons. 

The first group said that I was too smart for them. Of course there was other reasons, but I had never thought about any of that till now. The second group said that I was too crazy. I didn't understand, but I had a gut feeling that I would soon understand. The way they had said it was, "we don't want you in our group", without saying it up front. In their mind I was not someone to hang out with them and that is ok. The third group just didn't want me. They were the only group to openly admit they didn't me in their group at all.  The fourth group was more of talk than action and had decided that I wasn't one of them.  Basically they were just a glorified gossip group for people who want more freedom. The last  group was never going to allow me to join them since they had lots of people wanted to join and they may take sometime that for them to even notice me. Despite all of that I wasnt that desperate to have friends that I would start talking to the voices in my head claiming that I was apart of a group.

Well I gotta go soon the lights will be going out causing me not to see the beautiful picture I drew for Dr. Strange of his face turned upside down with his eyes pulled out. I always liked his reaction to my pictures because he liked to say that they didn't freak him out even though they pretty much did. I hated waking up in the morning because of the fact that meant another boring day had been started. What do I got to say I have such an imagination and I am so looking forward to tomorrow.