And So It Goes (BWWM)

Confronting Your Demons

"I came back because we have the shit we need to hash out." I said placing the drinks on the coffee table

"Anastasia this isn't the time." My mom smiled at Sebastian

"It's actually the perfect time."

"We have a guest. It's rude to talk about family matters." Melissa interjected

"He's my family too. He's here to support me."

"Ana-"

"You guys need to listen. Too long have I allowed this to happen not realizing how bad it actually was and it needed to be fixed today. I refuse for either of you two lose a sister or daughter because of your bullshit so sit back and listen." My dad seethed.

"Thanks papabear." Sebastian and I took a seat across from my mom, sister and dad so we could face them.

"I'll start. FIrst think first even if this goes well I forgive you guys, but for your sake but my own. If this doesn't go well I will walk away fully aware that I tried everything I could. I have questions and I want truthful answers no bs as we all grown here I can handle it." They both rolled their eyes but nodded, Sebastian squeezed my hand tighter and i just ran my thumb across the top of his hand signaling for him to calm down.

"What is your problem with me Melissa?" I asked bluntly.

"I don't have-"

"Melissa don't you lie, obviously you guys have issues." My father frowned

"Fine. I don't like you all that much." She shrugged.

"But why?"

"I don't know... you have always been miss perfect and dad's favorite."

"Seriously? You know dad doesn't do favorites. He would take me out one week and you the next so you know that isn't true and miss perfect? Are you kidding me? You could do no wrong growing up. Pageants. Head Cheerleader. Prom Queen. The one time I thought I could trust you went behind my back and dated the guy I liked. As my older sister all I ever wanted was to be like you and all you could was act like I ruined your life... You make snide remarks whenever we are together and you are constantly throwing your perfect life in my face." I decided to let that stew for a bit

I ripped off the bandaid "Mom? Why don't you love me?" my voice cracking in the process

"You think I don't love you?" She looked genuinely hurt.

"Yes, I honestly believe in my heart of hearts you don't love me."

"I do love you Anastasia...it's just that you are not what I expected.. And to this day you are doing things I don't approve of."

"But you also don't like me because I'm dark and I don't have that "good hair" which is something I kind of already knew but... I wouldn't allow myself to believe you didn't like me because of it."

"I honestly don't think we should be talking about this.." My mom wanted to shut down like she always did when she was being asked things he didn't want to answer.

"Cakes, answer her."

"Fine. Do I like the fact that you are dark skinned? Honestly no. I was raised to believe dark skin was bad and ugly and that's how I see it and when it comes to that head I permed you girl's hair starting at the age of five and when you turned 15 and decided you no longer wanted that route I was embarrassed by what my friends would think not only were you dark but now your hair was nappy. My daughter running looking like a field slave. You never wanted to do anything I wanted for you., but that doesn't mean I don't love you because I do you are my daughter."