Competition

Chapter 2

Update: I feel as if I am slowly dying inside.

My heart seems like it's 700 pounds and my head won't stop throbbing. I know I'm being a bit dramatic but the pain I feel is indescribable.

It's been four days since Trevor left.

The first day wasn't so bad. I went to practice in the morning, then came home and watched rom-coms all day. I cried and finished yet another gallon of ice cream. The first day was sad day. The night was the hardest. When I was laying in bed, I reached over on his side and found one of his shirts under the pillow. I tried to tell myself over and over that I should throw it away. Burn it. Anything. But I did the worst possible thing. I put it on. The shirt came down to mid thigh due to the fact he is much taller and more muscular than I am. It smelled just like him, and I spent the rest of my night curled up on the couch with my nose buried in the soft cotton just so I could hold on to his scent. Pathetic.

The second day was much, much worse. The realization that he was really gone had finally set in. Knowing that the love of my life was never coming back almost crushed me and broke me in two. I noted that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life because he was the only one who would find me attractive. The second day was self-loathing day. I spent an hour in front of the mirror looking at my features. I told myself that my hair was too fluffy and boring brown, the blue of my eyes was dull and ugly, my lips were too thin, and my stomach not flat enough. I told myself that the tattoos that scattered my body were sloppy and stupid. Why would anybody like me. There was no practice today, due to it being a Sunday, so I spent all day in bed, still wearing his shirt, crying, and pinching myself to make sure this wasn't some sort of twisted nightmare. He was actually gone.

The third day was angry day. I woke up screaming from a night full of images of Trevor and a mystery guy kissing and rolling around in my bed. I ripped his shirt from my body and threw it out my front door. I was mad at him. No longer sad. Just beyond pissed. I tried to call him to cuss him out for cheating on me, but Harry answered his phone. My blood boiled and I growled, literally growled, into the receiver then threw my cheap little flip phone across the room, watching it shatter on the wall. I decided to call in sick for practice and get my shit together. My thoughts were filled with curse words and ways to kill Trevor as I stepped in the scalding hot water of the shower. That bastard. That beautiful fucking bastard. The shower calmed my muscles but the heat ignited my temper even more. The fact that Harry answered his phone pissed me off more than anything and the thought of Harry and Trevor doing things that used to be sacred, sickens me. I stepped out of the shower just as I heard my home phone ring and ran out of the bathroom naked. At first, I was worried that Trevor was going to be there with some of his teammates, but then I remembered that he is a coniving son of a bitch. I wanted so badly to punch the wall but I was afraid of breaking my hand, and the phone was still naggingly ringing. I picked up the annoying piece of shit and tried to put on the happiest voice I could think of. I just hoped to God it's not Trevor or Harry.

"Hello?", my voice was almost too cheery and it hurt my head.

"Babe? I mean Lou, did I leave my favorite cologne there? It's my favorite and I can't find it anywhere", of-fucking-course it's Trevor. His voice sounded so good over the phone, so nice and solid. But I couldn't let him know.

"I don't know Trev, I haven't seen it. Maybe if you didn't have your head wedged so far up your ass, you would've seen it before you left", there was the Louis that had been dying to come out for the last few days. After telling him I would get around to it and telling him he could pick it up whenever, I hung up with a clipped tone and was very proud of myself.

This is how it should be, I had the right to be an ass to him. When I hung up, I ran to the bathroom to look for that damn Calvin Klein bottle that smelled like pure sex. After seeing that he did, in fact, leave it here, I grabbed it and took it with me everywhere. I took it to the kitchen as I angrily slammed around pans and thought about what an ass he is. My day was filled with heavy metal bumping through the flat and me screaming at the top of my lungs. Nothing hurt today, I was just angrier than I've ever been in my entire life. I thrashed around and watched action movies like Die Hard all day. Angry day was the best day so far.

This morning I woke up to yet another nightmare. Trevor was reading the poem he wrote me for our third anniversary, but it wasn't me that he was reading it to. It was Harry. The whole time Harry had a large smirk plastered across his face, showing off his dimple that made him appear to be innocent. Even though he was anything but. When the poem was over, he lunged at my Trevor and stuck his tongue down his throat. Harry was now on top of Trevor, moaning and sucking on his collar bone. Fuck, I needed to wake up. The sight of Harry in his most primal state made me tingly and flustered, but as soon as I remembered who he was on top of, I sprang my eyes open and screamed again. Yuck! I have to stop this. Today I will get my life back to normal, I'll go to practice and I'll buy groceries and do stuff that regular people do. People who aren't suffering from the Seven Deadly Plagues of Trevor.

After I picked up some groceries, I headed home, content on my idea of making Mac 'n Cheese and Dino chicken nuggets. When I walked in the front door, everything seemed new. Like he was never here and I was just beginning my new life. However, all that changed when my phone rang. This time, I knew exactly who it was. I grabbed the CK cologne bottle off the counter and strolled to the phone.

"Hello T" I said, not too chipper, but not full of hatred.

"Lou... Hey.. Hehe I... Um was wondering if I could... Dude shut up I'm talking to my ex... I was wondering if I could come by and pick up my cologne" Trevor says, but I can hear loud and clear a man in the background. He is laughing and calling for Trevor. My temperature rises several degrees as I feel a lump of anger rise in my throat. He's with a guy right now! He's calling me while he's with someone! And he so nonchalantly called me his ex!

"Actually Trevor I think you'll have to live without it" I barely hear him say 'what?' as I drop the phone to the floor before grabbing the bottle. The glass in my hand feels about three thousand degrees and I just can't wait to let it go. I send the glass flying through the room as hard as I can and it crashes into the wall and breaks into a thousand tiny pieces.

"GO TO HELL TREVOR" I yell in the wireless that has clattered to the floor. "AND TAKE HIM WITH YOU"

Picking up the phone from the floor, I push the end button as aggressively as I can and slam it down. FUCK. I could kill somebody right now I'm so furious. Trevor and his stupid-ass lover completely derailed my plans of getting back into normalcy. The whole house now smells of the fucking cologne and I just about lose it. I hate him so much I can't even stand to be around that terrible scent he always wears. I need to get out of this damn house. Completely disregarding the mess of glass and liquid on the floor, I stomp out the front door and head straight for my car.

I need to fucking drink.

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(A/N) I'm so super excited for this story. Hockey Harry is the root to 200% of my problems. Picture of who I imagine Trevor as on the side. Thanks for reading!