forcefully arranged

Decision & future

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Xander's Pov:

I woke up to the smell of pancakes, bacon and coffee. The smell was appetizing and it made my stomach grumble. I rose from Ella's bed and walked to the kitchen. I somehow found sharing this bed with her more relaxing than lain on own bed. What will happen when she finds what she calls true love? For sure, she will kick my ass out of her bed, out of this garden house and even out of her life. If it ever happens she will be sharing a bed with another man, sleeping, cuddling, kissing and making love. I don't know if it was hunger or anger but my stomach pained and grumbled forcefully again.

All feelings disappeared and vaporized as I entered the kitchen. As my eyes captured the beauty and cuteness of the scene in front of me, I felt a goofy smile overtakes my features. Ella laughingly studied Jenna because the little girl covered all her face in chocolate. I could really get used to waking up to such view; Ella, a baby and me. What the hell did I just say? I mean Linda, a baby and me. Maybe I should talk to Linda about such topic. But how would Ella react if Linda gets pregnant with my baby? She will file for a divorce of course or maybe just give you her blessings. I doubt that she will leave. She can't do so. She has to stay married to me because of our parents. She won't break their hearts or friendship. I know she won't. So she won't have a problem with me and Linda having a baby of our own, right? I just have to allow her to find her own love. But I don't seem to be able to do so. Why Xander? why?

Clearing my throat made the girls notice my existence. Ella just smiled at me and pointed at my food. She still cooks for me even if I am making her life a living hell. So she will probably accept the idea of me and Linda taking our relationship a step further and creating a baby, right? My playboy habits kicked in as usual and my eyes did their usual daily study of Ella's plump lips. I still can remember how they felt and tasted and how her innocence intrigued every fiber in my being. My breaths still hitch at the memory or her first kiss and I still feel heat spreading all over my body. Maybe if I let Ella date and somehow lose her innocence, she will become like any other girl. Maybe then I won't be lured to her anymore.

Ella noticed my long gaze and she shifted uncomfortably. I knew that I have such an effect on her. But regardless of her actions, I felt my body moving on its own. As soon as I spotted some chocolate next to her lips, my body as if having a mind of its own walked to her. I felt her stiffening or freezing to be correct and I knew that shock and uncertainties took over her. As soon as I stood right in front of her standing figure, she blushed. I love these little reactions of hers. I don't know why Linda does not blush at all when I am around her? Maybe because she is well experienced with men but that's how I like my woman to be right; Experienced and sexy. Then why is my body heating up from touching the corners of Ella's lips? Why am I thinking of kiss no making out with her right now?

Even though the spot of chocolate was long gone my fingers lingered on Ella's skin longer than needed. Her eyes shot to study mine as soon as I touched her but then as if in defeat and pain they gazed down and I immediately missed their intensity.

"Mommy?" Jenna questioned cutting the silence and the intensity of the moment.

Ella as if gaining her consciousness back moved or flew away from my touch and I was left there with unfulfilled urges and desires. Why do I find myself always ending up like so when I am around Ella?

"You had some chocolate on your face." I explained and Ella just nodded

The moment I started eating I heard Ella giving information on the phone to one of the guards. She assured him that it is fine to let Caden enter, since I was here. And I couldn't help but stiffen as I heard his name. Why is here?

"Why is he here? And who said that it is okay to let him enter?" I questioned Ella angrily

"Do you remember Jenna? She is his baby and he needs to take her back to their own home. And since you are here and he is not staying I thought that it is okay." Ella explained slowly and calmly as if she is speaking to a kid but I can sense the annoyance dripping in her tone

"I will hand her to him." I announced strictly

"Xander let him come in or I will go out and hand her to him. You should be nice to Caden. He is your best friend remember?" Ella fired back refusing

"You can't tell me what to do" I snapped back because she is always defending him

"And you can't tell me what to do too." She sternly replied

"I am your husband so yes I can" I yelled as her stubbornness drove me once again mad

"Only on paper" Ella responded and turned walking out of the kitchen.

"Only on paper" those damn three words kept on repeating in my head again and again. I knew that they were true but I couldn't ignore my possessiveness over her. I never had such trait in me. But when it came to Ella everything was different. I knew that this is not fair to her but I just couldn't. Maybe I should be more lenient. Maybe I should allow her to see other guys so I can start a family with Linda without feeling guilty. I should call Linda it's been two days and I didn't check on her even once.

"Go change that set of pajama and allow Caden in." I said to Ella as I walked out of the kitchen and out of the garden house.

I should really stop caring about her and start caring about my own life. First, I must get Linda to trust me back. I will take her on a date maybe. Second, grow closer and take another step in our relation " a baby". And as soon as I had such thought, images of Ella holding a little baby colonized my mind. How homey is such picture. But Ella cannot satisfy my vision of a perfect wife. She is not even close to what I always dreamt of.

I was still in the garden when I heard a car's engine roaring. Then I saw Caden's Cadillac CTS-V drive past me. As if sensing his presence, Ella opened the door and walked out holding Jenna. They started waving at him and he fastened his steps to reach them. He handed his baby girl a teddy bear and kissed her cheek and handed my wife a little gift bag with god knows what in it. I saw Ella smile at him and her eyes shinned in admiration. Then, she said something to him and Caden hugged her.

At this the not so unfamiliar pain ragged in my chest. All I saw was red and my instincts to kill were rising but why should I? I took a last glimpse of my supposed to be wife and how she perfectly fit in the image of Caden's family and then continued to walk away. I need to call Linda to start my own family.

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