All is Fair in Love and John <3 (A Johnlock love story)

Chapter 3: A time well spent

(John's View)

"Okay John what are you doing?" John asked himself trying hard to slow his heart, he felt weird he could feel the electricity pushing through his veins, he had, had feelings for Sherlock but he had to push them away or Sherlock would notice especially when he had just came back. John was trying his hardest not to let Sherlock see that he was falling for his flatmate, and he was falling hard. "are you okay?" Sherlock said his voice cracking slightly. John sniffed trying to speak but his words wouldn't come out, "mmm." John said trying to say something, "huh?" Sherlock said, staring at John his right eyebrow raised. "Nothing, I'm fine don't worry." John said finally being able to say something. Sherlock brushed up against him as he reached into his pocket retrieving his phone. John felt his heart race as butterflies erupted in his stomach. John suppressed a smile and he resisted the urge to touch where Sherlock had brushed up against him.  He felt like a teenager who was sitting next to a famous person. John still felt the electricity from where Sherlock had brushed up against him, this was different from the last time they were together, much different.

                                                      ************ (at the flat 221 B)

    "goodnight John." Sherlock said smiling, he hadn't said that to John in what like ages, it felt good to hear him say it to John. John smiled toothily "goodnight" John said back to Sherlock. Sherlock walked into his bedroom as John turned to go upstairs to his bedroom. John knew what would wait for him though, he knew that even though Sherlock was back he knew that he would still have nightmares, the things that haunted him. Although John had tried to push them away he knew they would always come back. John stripped off his shirt and got into his bed, trying his best to fall asleep but to many thoughts had clouded into his mind. "What if Sherlock found out he liked him? Was he just imaging Sherlock coming back? Would Sherlock ever love him back? Should he tell Sherlock about his feelings?" the questions flooded his mind and made it hard to even close his eyes, this was just to much he should just let it go, Sherlock didn't love him he never would he was married to his work, he should just forget it he couldn't risk losing the friendship just because he had some feelings for Sherlock. John closed his eyes finally somewhat happy with his decision.

                                   *************(middle of the night John is asleep)

              John twisted and turned trying to  make the scenes in his mind disappear, he was imaging Sherlock's death all over again reliving every moment as if he was there again, he would never be able to forget that day weather Sherlock was back or not. "NO!" John cried out into the nearly silent night. John sat up tears flooding his eyes and slipping down his face "NO SHERLOCK!" he cried out again, "please no." John said putting his head in his hands. His door opened a crack and Sherlock walked in and frowned. "what happened?" Sherlock asked looking worried. John let out a sob, what was he supposed to say? I dreamed I lost you again, which I should be able to cope since I lived so long without you but I secretly love you? Sherlock walked over to John and put his arm around John, he knew that it was risky, he knew that John might notice something different but as of right now all he wanted to do was comfort his good doctor. John let out more sobs, he was trying to suppress them but he just couldn't do it. Sherlock frowned and bit the inside of his lip, what he was going to do was risky, it was very risky maybe not for other people but for him it was a huge thing, especially since he even dating him. Sherlock looked over at John again and then he put John's head in his chest and kissed his head, "I'm here John, you don't have to worry." Sherlock whispered to John. John looked up at Sherlock, tears still in his eyes. "please don't leave me, not again." John said, he knew he was crazy, he knew Sherlock would catch on especially now, and maybe that is what he was so nervous about. "I won't." Sherlock said, he could feel something inside of him rip his heart in half, seeing John cry was killing him, it hurt worse than saying goodbye to John when he had jumped. Sherlock had felt this before, this thing that regular humans called "love" he had felt it before he jumped but never this strong, he had never wanted to kiss John like this before.John knew that this was going to be hard, he was going to have to tell Sherlock, in fact Sherlock had probably already caught on, it had been one day and he was going to have to tell Sherlock and say goodbye to his only mate. John sobbed again, he hated this, he hated these feelings for Sherlock but at the same time he loved them, he loved how for once he could forget the world when he stood by Sherlock, the way Sherlock could make him feel so happy just with just his stupid smile when he got a case. Sherlock felt his heart start to race and his palms get sweaty, "stop crying John, please stop you are making me want to kiss you." Sherlock thought to himself. Sherlock's heart was being ripped in two and he just wanted to grab john and kiss him, it was getting so tempting, tempting enough to do it.  Sherlock put his hand on John's chin and looked at him, he knew that this would be the end of their friendship but he couldn't help it. Sherlock deduced him what was he thinking, was he in love with Sherlock? Could this be the end of a friendship but the start of something better? John's heart raced, what was he doing? What in bloody hell was Sherlock doing? Sherlock leaned closer his thumb caressing John's cheek, if he was going to lose a friend for this, he wanted it to be great. Sherlock leaned even closer the space between them disappearing slowly. "Sherlock?" John asked quietly. Sherlock didn't answer he just stared at John his lips slowly curling into a smile. Sherlock crashed his lips into John's feeling the weight of the world off of his shoulders, he wished he had done this sooner it was fantastic. John suppressed a moan his hand going into Sherlock's inky curls. John opened his mouth allowing Sherlock's tongue explore his mouth. Sherlock put his hands on John's waist his fingers digging into his back slightly. Sherlock put his tongue in his mouth, this went on for what seemed like forever, but it was a good forever. Eventually John felt himself starting to get light headed due to lack of oxygen. John pulled away painting heavily, that was amazing it was the best thing that john had ever felt. John had kissed females before, he had even shagged them but he had never felt anything like this, nothing had felt this right.