Fragile(NOT COMPLETED, UNDER REVISION, PLZ DONT READ RN)

Chapter 30

Grace's POV 

    I sit upright staring at my phone in confusion. One minute I was up reading the text Alyssa had sent me about her date going well and the next I had somehow fallen asleep. It lasted no less the five minutes because I was woken up by Logan's call.

    What was that all about anyways? Did he actually want to talk to me like he said he did? No- He was just trying to sound like he didn't call me out of boredom. I had lied just to get out of the phone call anyways. There was no trace of tiredness left in my body anymore, only curiosity growing in my stomach. 

    Logan's voice echoes in my mind as I collapse backwards onto my pillow. I turn sideways and shift into a fetal position. Flashbacks of what Alyssa told me at the Mall start to invade my mind. I find myself thinking about that a lot lately even though I told myself I wouldn't do exactly that. It seems whatever I tell myself I wont overthink I end up overthinking anyhow. 

    Restlessness takes over my body and I begin to toss and turn, flopping all over my bed. My closed eyes open in annoyance and I stretch over to my nightstand and turn on the small lamp. Light eliminates the pitch black darkness that clouds my room.

    I suck in a large breath and breathe out heavily before sitting up and shuffling around my covers. I get out of my bed and walk over to my desk chair plopping down onto it. My eyes stare out of my window as I rest my elbows against the cool surface of the desk. 

    The moon burns into my eyes causing me to lean my head into my hands. I can't seem to stop the flow of thoughts circling in my mind. Alyssa's words regarding Logan ring in my ears and I let out an aggravated sigh. 

    Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? Ever since Alyssa brought up the idea of me liking Logan my brain feels like its been running an olympic marathon trying to figure out if I really did. I know I had said no but now I wasn't so sure. 

    Truth be told deep down inside a part of me lit up in excitement at the thought of Logan liking me. It was an unfamiliar feeling but it feels right somehow. I can't find it in myself to argue against it. Then again I can't get my hopes up. I still don't know if Alyssa was really telling the truth or if she was just trying to mess with me. Maybe she was just trying to get me to admit that I like him? Maybe I do... do I? 

    God, why is this so frustrating? If I did like him wouldn't I just know? Shouldn't I be able to just tell right away?

    Maybe it was the fact that there was a possibility that Logan didn't like me back. I know he's a player. I know he could get with anyone he wanted to. People like him don't have auras so intimidating and faces so perfectly sculpted to not get them what they want.

    He told me not to compare myself to a girl like Lacey but how can I not? Yes, Lacey had the personality of a girl who seemed to be straight out of the movie Mean Girls but all the mean girls in that movie were gorgeous and so is she. Her complexion is flawless and she glows like an angel descending from heaven. My skin is pale enough to make me look like Casper The Friendly Ghost's distant cousin. The only way I would ever glow like that is if someone stuck me in between two giant lit up Christmas trees.

    I know looks aren't everything but didn't they matter to Logan at all?  Maybe Lacey wasn't in his favor anymore but surely someone else physically like her could catch his eye. It feels like anyone at all would be better for him than I would be. 

    Doubt begins to slither around me like a snake. It starts to constrict me making my chest feel tight to the point of wanting to pass out. 

    It felt like earlier today in class. I could feel Lacey's eyes drilling holes into my back and I felt so unsafe. I know that sometimes Logan didn't come to class but after that altercation with Lacey I didn't realize how much I depended on him to hide me from her. Not literally, but metaphorically speaking. It felt like if he was there then she wouldn't come at me or try to hurt me... like he was protection from her or anyone for that matter.