Now Is The Time

Chapter 2

     We say goodnight to Su-chan and the others as Moa opens the door to our room. The room arrangements differ depending upon the number of crew member accompanying us. Sometimes us three girls would share a room while at other times it would be two of us together with one girl staying with a female crew member. It's usually the latter that happens, with Moa and I rooming together while Su-chan stays with a crew member, and it's the same this time too.

Moa goes for her bed right away and throws herself face down on it. Hahaha. She really must have been tired. I unpack some of the few necessities from my bag and ask Moa if she wants the bath first. Without lifting her body she turns her head to look at me.

"Do you want to go in together? I want to hit the sack as early as possible and I'm pretty sure you do too."

My brain immediately goes into crisis management mode. Okay, let's see. The last time we bathe together was during the trip before...no, two trips before this one. She has asked me at least thrice since then to join her and I've refused her each time. So I guess I'd better oblige this time.

"Sure," I reply trying to sound as nonchalant as I can.

I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not stupid. I'm quite the genius actually, if I may say so myself. I haven't been refusing her because I don't want to be with the most perfect being on Earth. You see, there is this little thing called control that you need to have when you're around the person you secretly have feelings for. And I have been trying to master this art of control for the better part of the past two years. I think I've gotten quite good at it too. I set a rule for myself- put up a limiting-but-not-severing boundary between the two of you. This just means that I inconspicuously limit the contact between us. So that she wouldn't get suspicious, I don't jump at every opportunity to be with her and I don't refuse every opportunity either. It takes a very fine balancing to toggle between the two, especially since I always want to be with her, but I'm getting better. It gets extremely stressful inside my head at times like this.

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     We're soaking in the tub together. She is sitting opposite to me facing me and the bare skin of our legs are touching. I tilt my head back and close my eyes so as to keep them off her. I can't be caught staring at her body. I feel silly at times when I think about it. I've been working with her for over six years now and considering our age it's kinda like we grew up together. I'd taken numerous baths with her and seen her naked just as much before I started developing these feelings towards her and now I can't seem to remember the last time I was at ease bathing with her. Let's see. When did it all start? I remember it was during the practices for the 2013 Sakura Gakuin school festival that I started to really notice her beauty. True, she'd always been pretty. But when you're an idol you are working with and are surrounded by pretty girls so you tend to overlook certain aspects like their physical appearance after a while. Anyway, around that time she started to look a bit more mature and it seemed like she was starting to get quite the steady head on her shoulders. I was starting to feel really proud of her, proud to know her, and proud to be paired up with her. I hadn't realised then the new feelings that were bubbling up within me. I'd feel extremely happy when she would notice me or when we would accidentally be in synch with each other, and at other times I'd be constantly seeking her attention. I found myself a bit odd at the time but I shrugged it off as me finally catching Moa's weakness-for-cute-girls-disease.

     I open my eyes when I feel her moving. What is she up to? Is she getting out? Oh god, Moa! What are you doing? She's turned around and is currently leaning back into me, on naked me! I am frozen on my spot. It feels like a hand is squeezing my heart. It hurts, literally. She rests her head on my left shoulder-blade, her back to my front. God! She's soft. My whole body feels like it's on fire. The thumping of my heart is deafening. No wait, she can probably hear if not feel it too, right? I need to calm down. Okay heart, be still. "And how the heck am I supposed to that in this situation?" it seems to shout back. Nevertheless, I try to calm down by concentrating on Moa's slender fingers playing with my left pinky. She's never done anything like this before so that's why I'm panicking. True, she has always been much more physical than me but she does it in a way that is not an intrusion of other people's space. I wonder if this has anything to do with my rejections of her previous offers. I need to know if I've hurt her feelings in any way. Okay. I think I'm calm enough now, and voice, don't betray me.

"Something wrong?" I ask. Phew! I sound normal.

"Hmmn..? Nope. Why would anything be wrong?" She tilts her head up to look at me.

"Well...," I trail off, eyeing the position we're in.

"You looked really comfortable there in your corner so I felt like sharing in the comfort. You want me to move back?"

"Nah, I'm fine staying like this."

     I'm so happy I didn't refuse her offer tonight.

     We stay like this for about fifteen minutes, in silence, letting go of the day's stress that has accumulated in our bodies. If this isn't heaven, I don't know what is. I look at the angel I'm sort of holding and...is she sleeping?

"Moa?"

No answer.

"Hey, Moa," I call her again shifting our bodies slightly.

"Mmn....? Hnghh...huh. Ohhh..I fell asleep. *yawns* Ahh, this isn't good. I should get out. Gotta sleep. You coming?" she says moving out of the tub. I immediately miss the feel of her body on mine.

"Just a few more minutes. I'll be out soon. You go on ahead. And hey, don't just go to bed like that. Don't forget to dry your hair properly, okay?"

"Yeeeeess, Mom," she sneers as she opens the door and leaves.

The little...

     I lean back in and try to make myself comfortable. But the small space has suddenly become very empty. The weight of her body on mine, the sensation is still lingering, but her presence is gone and leaves in its place an emptiness so vast the cramped little space I'm in could easily have been the whole universe. This feeling is kind of scary. I take a deep breath to settle myself, letting it course through my body to the tip of my toes. I scoot just a little bit forward, to where she was sitting when she was leaning into me. This is where she was, the spot in space her body occupied. This calms me down a bit, I think. Feels like her I'm being enveloped by her presence. Tch. I should get out. I think I'm getting lightheaded.

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