Gone

Chapter 38 [Juliana] Back to Normal *

"Just spit it out," Spencer rushes out of his mouth, as she growls and throws her pillow at him, him blocking his face with his hands at last minute. "Damn, I'm sorry, okay?!?!?!"

"I want it!" Mickey blurts out, as we all stay silent, and my head fills with questions.

"You want what?" Blaze asks, as I hold my breath and feel him pull his hand away from mine.

"The baby..." she softly tells us all, as I cover my mouth with my hand and try to keep myself calm. I can't get upset about this. This isn't my choice, it's theirs... "I think I might want the baby."

"No," Blaze suddenly lets out, as my eyes shoot onto his but he concentrates his attention just on Mickey, the one who's holding his kid.

"What do you mean no?" She asks, her tone edgy and upset.

"I mean no," he instantly lets out, leaning forward and keeping his gaze straight on her.

"You didn't even hear me out..."

"Mickey we can't do this," he snaps, as I glance back at him and shake my head, not knowing what to do or even what to say, because I don't know if I should even say anything to begin with.

"Blaze--" I try to get out but there's barely any sound to my voice.

"I don't even have a damn job," he quickly states, putting his hands on his face and shaking his head, back and forth, not stopping. "I can't do that, I can't do this... WE can't do this Mickey. What are you thinking? We barely even have money to end it, and you're all of a sudden thinking we'll be able to buy it dipars and food and a crib, and whatever the hell babies need..."

"Blaze," I whisper in panic, noticing how pale Mickey's face has gone. "Please calm down."

"I don't want to be a killer," she finally says, Spencer staring at her before moving closer. "I can't end my pregnancy, not like Tessa. I can't be like Tess, guys. I can't do that.." She gasps, putting her arms on her stomach, quickly shaking her head.

"It'll be okay," I try to tell her, until she narrows her eyes and stares at me.

"Really?" She questions, still shaking her head. "No, it won't. Because I'm appearently all alone in wanting to keep it. He surely hates me now."

"I couldn't hate you," he quickly lets out, standing up and sitting down next to her. "I just don't understand why all of a sudden you want to have it?"

"Because I googled abortions, Blaze," she mutters, dropping her eyes onto her lap. "I can't do it. Do you even know how they do it? Do you?"

He shakes his head and bleakly answers, "No..."

"Then google it, alright? See how horrible and disgusting it is, and then call me once you've realized you have a heart."

"I think you should respect her decision," I say in a soft mumble, him blankly staring over at me. "If she wants to keep it, then I think you need to think about it before you tell her what to do."

"Julie," he says, and then stops. "You're right." He looks back over at her and I hold my breath when he reaches for her hand. I don't know why, but it hurts me. They have such a strong bond... Especially if they're really going to go through with having a baby together. "My bad, okay? I'm f'ed up right now, mentally. This is just too much for me right now..."

"I can't kill it," she carefully states, looking him in the eyes as she says this. "And if you have a problem with that, then fine. Just don't talk to me anymore."

"You're the mom," he finally lets out, as me and Spencer exchange glances at each other, in confusion. "Guess if you want it, we'll have it..."

"Seriously?" She asks, slightly frowning but grinning at the same time.