Gone

Chapter 58 [Juliana] Blank White Walls *

"I want to work on keeping my anger under control. Yeah, that's my goal."

"Great job Allie," Group conselor says as I keep chipping off the nailpolish from my nails. "Would you like to speak now, Amanda?" 

"Not really," she says as I take a quick glance over at her annoyed face. 

"Would you like to give it a try for us? It might make you feel better introducing yourself to the rest of the people in the group," Ms. Robinson or whatever the heck her name is explains.

"Uh, fine I guess. Whatever," the girl sighs. "I'm here for depression and anger management. Goal? I don't have a fucking goal. Actually, I do. It's to get the hell out of here."

I stare back down at my lap and shake my leg up and down, repeating this as three other kids go, and finally my name is said out loud.

"Juliana?"

I don't look up, I just start examining my nails again, noticing how almost all the polish is somehow gone.

"Would you like to speak now?"

I stay silent.

"This is your third day, of being silent. The faster you talk and participate, is the quicker you can get out of here," She tells me in this really high pitched nice tone. She is way to digustingly friendly.

"Pass," I mutter to her, finally setting my eyes on hers and saying nothing else.

She pushes her glasses higher up on her nose and then she starts to write something down on the clip board on her lap. "I really think you should try, Juliana. It helps. Everyone else has spoke this morning, and group is very important. Just try to let it all out and set a goal for yourself. Try it."

I narrow my eyes at her and slowly shake my head. "Pass."

*

Group than finally comes to an end, and I cheer myself on silently because for three days I haven't said a single word to any of the kids here. Right now I'm sitting on the couch hugging my knees up against my chest, watching stupid old cartoons while everyone else quietly talks to each other. What idiots... Who wants to have full blown conversations here when their main concern should be plotting how on earth they're going to get out of this place. It's legit like hell in here.

"Juliana, Dr. Jones is waiting for you in his office," A female staff calls out to me, as I glance over at her wide smiled, happy face. 

"Pass," I say, staring ahead of me at the TV again.

"Your psychologist needs to see you. It isn't an arguement. You have to see him atleast once a day," she tries to tell me as I scowl over at her.

"I said pass!" I snap, her expression finally changing to complete shock. "God, you bitches are deaf."

"He can come here and sit in the chair across from you, if you'd like." She makes her tone now rude, and as unpleasant as possible. "In front of the rest of the people here."

"No," I say, just rolling my eyes and sharply exhaling. "Fine, whatever."

And then I stand up silently, glare at her as I walk by, and I quickly make my way to Dr. Jones.

*

I sit in the big comfortable leather chair in the corner, right across from him with his desk in between us. I stare silently out the window at the tall buildings in the distance since we are in the middle of the city, and I listen quietly to the sound of the clock.