Gone

Chapter 34 [Blaze] Needing Comfort *

Did... did that really happen?

Did she really just leave? And most of all, did she dump me? What the F is going on here... Nobody breaks up with me. Nobody leaves me, because I leave them first. I tell them to screw off and I basically just got dissed by the girl I've fallen in love with. But she's so different lately. Am I in love with her, or was I just in the moment? Everything was going great, awesome, to be honest with myself. And now all of a sudden I'm dumped? This doesn't feel right.

I stand up now without a stiffy because Julie left me, and I pull out a cigarette. I smoke about three without bothering to open my window. And I'm wondering why the hell I'm not more pissed off about this whole thing... The girl I love, just dumped me, but wait. Do I really love her? This question keeps replaying over and over again in my head, so I shake it out of my mind after I finish chain smoking, and I take out my lipring before I brush my teeth, and slide in my black one.

Once I'm in my room ready to pass out, since nothing else is on my mind, is when I hear a knock on my door. I hop off my bed and sharply exhale, opening the door and spotting my ma just standing there, waiting for me to say something.

I narrow my eyes and shrug, "Yeah?"

"I just got some news, Blaze..." She softly says, her tone happy, but torn at the same time.

"If you tell me another one of my friends died, I swear to fking god I will put a gun to my head," I warn her in anger, as she shakes her head and slightly smiles, which freaks me out.

"Blaze. It's about your father," she informs me, as I close my mouth and widen my eyes, in curiousity.

"I don't give a crap about him. So I don't care," I quickly tell her, about to shut the door until she puts her arm out, me nearly about to slam the door on it. "Damn it, mom."

"He's gone," she states, as I go quiet and frown.

"Gone?" I repeat her, loudly. "What do you mean he's gone?"

"Your dad is dead," she carefully says to me, as I grin, and part my lips, not knowing how to express how I feel, or what to say.

"What?" I practically whisper, her nodding.

"He was murdered, Blaze. In an alley. About an hour ago," My mom lets out, as I hold my breath and can't speak. "I need to go down to the police station, to idenitify him. He bled out and was dead by the time a police call was made."

I stay silent and try to swallow, but my throat's too dry.

"I'll be back, okay? Are you alright Blaze?" She asks me, as I cautiously nod, and express a crooked grin, even though it seems really hard to pull off for some reason. Am I upset, or happy?

"I'm fine," I answer her blankly, her staring into my eyes as I say nothing else.

"I am too, sweetheart. We're going to be great now," she happily tells me, and I smile as if I actually believe her.

"I know," I mumble, not understanding why I'm not jumping with joy.

"I've never felt more relieved," she quietly breathes out, a tear sliding down her cheek as I gulp and say nothing. "God, I'm such a baby," she laughs. Then wipes the tear away with the back of her hand.

"Yeah..."

"Well, I'll be back later. Not too late, hopefully no later than a few hours," My mom explains, as I nod and clench my jaw tightly together.