Gone

Chapter 61 [Juliana] Good Girl, or Not? *

"Mommy. I'm so sorry," I softly let leave my lips, as she sits down next to nme on this hard as a rock bed and puts her arm around my shoulder.

"It's alright, Jule. I love you Juliana. That's why I've kept you here."

"It's been five days since I've seen Blaze, mom. It's killing me and all he does is call. Do you know why he hasn't been coming here?" I struggle to get out, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

"Hmm. . ." She hesitates as I look up into her eyes.

"Is there something you aren't telling me?" I rush out, curiousity filling my head, along with confusion too. 

"Just tell me, do you think you are ready to be discharged quite yet?" She asks me as I narrow my eyes at her cautiously, biting my bottom lip.

I shrug, "I don't really know, honestly. I mean... I think so. I feel a whole lot happier, more healthy. I've been taking my meds and I don't have any withdrawerl symptoms anymore from the pain killers   I was taking."

"So, you feel happy again?" She questions me, hope filling her widened eyes as I sigh.

"Well, not happy. Just better, you know? Better than before."

"I'm terrified you're just telling me this to get yourself out of the hospital..."

I cut her off and shake my head, tightly grabbing her hand. "I'm not. Seriously mom, I promise. I don't feel all chipper and completely back to my old self, but, but I'm getting there. Listen to me," I pause, her slowly nodding in responce. 

"Yes?" She breathes out.

"I don't want to die anymore," I carefully whisper, and before I even have time to blink, is when her eyes start to water and she immediately starts crying. "Aw, mom..."

"Sorry," she mutters to me, tears strolling down her cheeks as I feel tears collect in my own eyes as well. 

"Come here mom," I quickly tell her, wrapping my arms gently around her as she rests her head against my shoulder. "I am so sorry for putting you through this."

"I already lost your father Jule, please don't make me lose my only daughter too--"

"I already told you I'm getting better. And we'll just take everything day by day, alright? I don't want to die I'm way too young. And I'm in love. And he loves me and I can't end my life when I haven't even lived it yet," I quietly explain to her rubbing her back until she pulls away and gazes into my watered eyes.

"You're back, aren't you?" She asks, her words racing through my mind. "My Juliana is back."

"Yes, I'm back."

"Well that's good, because I'm discharging you today. Pack your stuff, hunny. I'm taking you home," she tells me as I happily grin.

I'm sitting on my bed when my house phone begins ringing, as I stare silently up at the pink ceiling and let my thoughts wonder. But then the ringing stops and I hear my mom telling me to pick it up, so I get back to my feet and walk over to my dresser.

"Hello?" I softly answer.

"Hi baby," Blaze's voice says through the other line, as butterflies race their way into my stomach and I can't help but widely smile. And I look so silly when I stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"Shit I've missed you like crazy."

"Sorry for not visiting you... A lot of stuffs been going down. I should have seen you so I'm sorry about that and I hope you forgive me--"