Unraveled

Chapter 11

0 Days Until...

Brooke

I stare down at the knife in my hands and look at my phone.  Josh should be coming home right about now.  I saw the car pull out of their driveway a couple of hours ago.  I need to do this before I see him again and gain that little bit of hope back.  That absolutely cannot happen.  I need to do this more than anything else in this world because if I don't I will be living in misery. 

Josh- I'll be home in a few, see u then right?

I glance at my phone.  Well, I guess that it's now or never.  I stab the knife in my arm, slicing it down the middle along each vein.  A scream bursts from my lips, thank god my parents aren't home.  And then the blood is bursting out, all over the wood flooring as I stumble towards the ground.  My phone falls from my hands as it buzzes again with another text from Josh. 

Josh- Brooke I heard u scream i'm coming

Crap no he can't.  I stab my leg with my good arm screaming again louder, tears streaming down my face.  I hear the front door open and try to be quiet as I take my hand away from the knife in my leg.  "Brooke?  Brooke?  Where are you?  Are you okay?  My mom is calling 911 now."  Josh says his voice getting progressively louder by the second.  My vision starts blacking out, spots soon clouding everything as I fall to the ground in a pool of my blood.  Josh bursts into the room and I can hear his voice yelling my name out.  And then I'm gone and everything is a swirling pool of blackness.

Josh

I run to her and hold her limp body in my arms, no noise escaping from her mouth anymore.  "Brooke, no.  Don't leave me please."  I beg as I hear sirens rushing towards us.  I pick her up and carry her outside, careful not to move the knife lodged in her leg.  God, I don't know what I will do if I lose her too.  The ambulance pulls into the driveway and EMT's rush out and grab her from my arms and settle her onto a stretcher.  "Are you riding with us?"  One of them asks me.  "Please, I need to stay with her."  I say, tears streaming down my face.  I get into the van with them and sit on the bench.  They flit around as the ambulance starts moving trying to get everything just right for Brooke who is still passed out.  At least I'm hoping she is just passed out.  I can't live with her dying.  Not her too... My head drops into my hands, my body shaking.  The doctors are talking random gibberish that makes no sense to me right now.  Something about the knife in her leg and trying to get it out I think.  How could she even do this to me?  Did she realize how much it would hurt me, having her gone?  "Sir? We found this near the pool of blood.  We think she would want you to read it."  One of the doctors tell me handing me a slip of paper.  I open it up and begin reading.

Dear Mom, Dad, and Josh,

I'm sorry but this had to happen.  I can't live like this anymore.  In this constantly depressed state it is pretty much impossible to even get out of bed to eat or go to the bathroom.  Believe me, this is the best thing for me right now.  I can't keep living.  Mom and Dad I am so sorry.  But it just seems like neither of you give a shit about me or anything I do.  I don't know if that is on purpose or by accident but either way it hurts a lot.  And it has affected me more than you know.  But that is not the only reason why I am doing this.  Things at school are rough as I am sure you are aware.  And that is mainly why.  This next part is for Josh so please leave it to him to read by himself.

Josh, baby I love you.  I really do.  I know you don't believe it since I was an idiot and cheated on you.  But I did it so you would hurt less when I kill myself.  That's why.  And I am so sorry for this.  I know you already lost one person that you loved.  And I am sorry but I can't keep going like this.  You've seen my scars.  You know how much I'm hurting.  But if you really cared you would have told someone.  Not kept it to yourself and try to help that way.  Because yeah, it helped for a while but it doesn't anymore.  And I know I should go get some help for myself but at this point I don't think anything would really help very much.  Which is why I am resorting to suicide.  It is the only hope I have.  And just please understand.  Thank you and I love you.