Sexting / Texting One Direction

Chapter 19: "Sexy as hell, hey?"

No one really understands this, or really takes the time to sit and think about why you are here and what you really want to achieve in life. 

Well i do. Almost every night. I lay in bed, gazing through my window, out at the stars and become mesmerised by their beauty. I think about everything. I think about what has happened during that day or week or month, whatever, and comprehend why it happened, or what it means. I use this time to try to apprehend the reason behind everything. 

Why did Louis kiss me? Why didn't he argue harder? Why didn't he try to change the dare? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? Doesn't he love her unconditionally no matter what they are going through? He's not a cheater so why would he do that? I mean its only a kiss, but when your in a long term relationship, a kiss can ruin everything. Why would he risk all that, for just one dare?! Its not worth it! And while i don't mind at all, i still can't fathom how he can do such a thing, when he still has a girlfriend. I know i wouldn't like it if my boyfriend did that to me, dare or not. 

Why did i let him?! I knew he was with another girl but i let him anyway! I'm just as much to blame as Louis. I could have said no! I could have said to him that its not right and that he has a girlfriend! But me, being selfish, let my emotions and curiosity get the better of me, and refused to let the opportunity pass. i wasn't thinking and if i knew that i was going to feel so guilty afterwards i would never have done it!

I wonder if Louis is feeling the same? Is he feeling guilty? Does he care? Does he care that he practically just made out with another girl while he is, in-fact, currently in a serious relationship? Or is it just a guy thing? One more girl that they snog and suddenly they are all high and mighty? Like its a game to them? Just a number on a list? It makes me sick to even think of girls being objectified and I hope to god, that Louis does not think of it like that. 

All this thinking it doing my head in. Ive done way too much thinking for one night and with that, i stand up and make my way out to the kitchen that I've had the pleasure of entering only once so far, now officially for the second time. 

If your confused, let me fill you in. After that whole, 'Truth or Dare' game that we played, since we were playing it for quite some time, it got to like 1am and we decided to leave. Since i was drinking, i wasn't able to drive, therefore, Louis and Harry brought me home with them. They gave me the spare bedroom to use for the night. 

Anyway, i made my way to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and some pain killers -all that thinking and alcohol had given me a headache- to find the light on, but no one to be seen. Ignoring it, i walked straight to the cupboards and grabbed a cup, -knowing exactly where it was from last time, when i tried to find a cereal bowl- and filled it with water from the tap. 

"The pain killers are in the cupboard above the fridge." My heart skipped a beat as I jumped at the sound of someone behind me. I thought i was alone? I turned around the see a drowsy Louis, leaning against the counter, glass in hand. "Gosh! Louis you scared me!" I breathed out, trying to slow down my heart rate back to its normal pace. He silently chuckled to himself, facing towards the ground. 

I reached for the cupboard, popping out two pain killers, as quietly as possible, before placing them in my mouth and washing them down with water.