My life is cringy carry on with caution

14 When you where young ;)

Since i was smol child (8-10) i started listening to MCR i blasted The Black Parade Album every day all day for like a month one time (im not exagerating). It sounds weird because MCR is extremely emo but ive always been 'aware' ive always been 'mature'. Of course ive grown so much since then im not saying ive been a life pro since day one lol no. Anyways today i was alone and i blasted all their songs, Disenchanted started playing. When i saw this picture of me when i was 7, stuck on the fridge. I sang along Word For Word. And i dont know, so suddenly i started to cry. Like this to the point heart renching feeling came alll over me. I was sad about all these things that i had lost. I cried for Coco of course.
Carmen and Rebecca.
The father figure i had but will never have for the rest of my life.
My bedroom.
Janeall.
Edith.
Karina and yoli. Etc
You know what i didnt lose anything i think it hurts because they where taken, everything i knew when i was that age was taken little by little. Like grief ig

•••••• Imagine: you never see your sister, your dad, your room, your pets, your greatest friends for three years. No warnings or goodbyes. Savage dude ••••••
It wasnt all in the move to mex it was after the divorces after the various moves not all at once just fyi)

So yea here we are now. Why ? Did this happen to me though. I have always been a good person. Im the person that remembers to celebrate and spoil you at your birthday im the one that goes to your house and helps you clean your room and wash your dog just because it makes me happy. I never forget if you ask me a favour or something important. You know what i meen? Nobody but me knows what ive been through tbh. I deserve better than the guy im pining for if im honest with myself.

Im not perfect by all meens dont even get me started...

I have a theory astowhy ive been delt such a complex and very obstacle-ly deck. I think i had split into two fates when my dad stole us and moved to the US. So this wasnt a mistake, in another universe,life, paralel dimension,whatever met my group of friends here in the secundaria 4 mixta. Like i was suposed to if my life was kept in the lane it corresponded. When my father left mexico it split because at the time i loved him. Does that make sense? I also have another fate/deatiny in the US where i was suposed to meet Karina and the whole brady fucking brunch and go to pacheco high school. Life is strange. (xDlmao)

Nobody even reads this, well i guess its like my blog at this point. Fuck You Felipe. Till next time spirits. Good fucking vibes.