My life is cringy carry on with caution

13 boy

       So today i got these sudden and bad cramps im also getting picked up early from school to go to this film critic gathering. Plus all the classes that i will have are basically trash (tutorias, taller, PE, and english). Plus i woke up in the middle of the noght and couldnt fall asleep so im dying of exhaustion. I have every reason to not go to school today, yet i find myself wanting to go just to see my  crush. We arent even close, i just feel like talking a little bit atleast before the weekend where we dont see each other. Im so incredibly pathetic.

       I literally connot get over him, no matter how many times i debate we will never ever date everytime im sure he doesnt like me. Tbh its his fault when we do talk hes so much sweeter than with other girls and peopls. I feeel soooo sure theres something and then bye gotta blast. We even have the same weird taste and point of veiw and love for astrology and wanting to move like wtf. Im pretty, i speak english, im a good person, im nice, i have a sence of humor, im smart, im passionate. What else is not convincing you, why are you holding back, are you holding back. Im sure you know i like you but im not 100% sure. I dont know what to do with this i just know that i really wanna chat today.

     God its ridiculus okay when u dream of someone (of the gender your atracted to) it means thats what you want to do with himher. So when i do dream of him we arent even fucking or anything hes just like talking to me or petting my hair. Thats how fucking innocent i am. Thats how fucking pathetic i am.   Ugh i can go on and on

    Yesterday was the first time i avoided him and ugh its stupid but now i feel bad. Its not that he avoids me he avoids everybody. I was just trying to get over him. Jezus christ why the fuck do i like him somebody help. It sounds like hes a fuck boi but i can assure the zero people reading this he doesnt date and he has friends that are normal so i just i dont understand.

Anyway i gtg