Tom Hiddleston and Loki Imagines - Bk. 2

Loki - Anxiety

A/N: I was reading through the comments of the previous book, and I came across some involving the love for this particular person/thing. So I decided in the near future to bring them/it back.  Subtle hint provided in this imagine.

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Loki's POV

Two realms destroyed, thousands of innocent lives wasted, numerous species eradicated, two kings killed, one long path of redemption, and yet I couldn't make a simple thirty-second phone call.

My phone mocked me, her contact already cued up, me staring at the profile picture that I had set for her, her name, her number, her digital radiance glowing and etching into my brain as I hesitate to put my heart on that teetering line. Anyone else, and I would've been meeting them for this thing called coffee, anyone else and we probably would've been courting for eight months, anyone else and we probably would've—I probably would've been meeting her family, or what's left of it. (I've already met Natasha.)

But I'm not talking about just anyone. I'm talking about (Y/N).

What's wrong with you? Cat got your silver tongue?

She makes my confident demeanor crumble into nervous ashes. The bones of her smile make the bones of my knees quiver. Her voice calms me more than father's approval ever will. She saw hope in me, the light I once wished to shine onto others, the lights that quickly eradicated into darkness because of the lies and betrayal. She gave me trust, trust in me as well as the ability to trust her.

And if she let me, I want to show her just how much love she has shown me, but in a different way.

You won't know until you try.

Closing my eyes and inhaling what seemed like the entirety of wind itself, I press the talk button. The dial tone seemed like an eternity, yet still not enough time to compose myself for what followed:

"Hello?"

It was so good to hear her voice; it was unique, at least in my eyes. No one made that word, so simple letters, sound so pleasing.

"Hi."

You could hear her smile in her speech.

"How are you feeling?"

"To be honest, nervous."

Nervous? Does she know that she holds my heart? I thought I have been so careful not to let her see the love in my eyes that only belonged to her.

"I feel the same, but why is it that you feel that way?"

"Promise not to get mad, Lo'?"

I take a pillow and prop it behind my back. "Now why would I ever?"

And with four words, my whole world would be shattered. In four words, everything that I prepared myself for would dissipate into the air like dust. The light I saw in her became like a darkness that poisoned my veins and would make me wish that I had never let her into the cracks of what was once my heart. With four words, I would take back every desire I wished for her, every "I love you" I would mentally tell her in my mind, every kiss I would wish to place like a ring onto her lips. I would resent it all, take back every "goodnight," every wishing wells, every "I missed you," everything that would remind me of just how perfect for me she was, because how can you break me so much, so fast with just four words?

"I have a date."