Beacon in the Darkness

18. Enough

Lauren snorted. "Yeah, like that's ever going to happen. Boys like that don't exist—at least not ones our age."

Camila grinned and closed her eyes. "Oh, I don't know. I think they're around. You just have to know where to find them. Sometimes, I think you get so busy looking for something, that you miss the fact it's been standing right in front of you the whole time."

"College guys!" Lauren snapped her fingers and turned to Camila, a large smile stretching across her face. "I should totally be looking for more mature men." She slapped her hands down on her thighs.

"That's not what I meant," Camila mumbled, not bothering to speak any louder, knowing by the look on Lauren's face, she wasn't going to convince her of anything right then.

"Okay then," Lauren lay down beside Camila, turning her head to face her, "since you claim to like the male species, and apparently hottie Zayn hasn't caught your eye, is there a guy who has?"

Camila felt her face heat immediately. Internally she cursed the very blood in her veins that pooled into her cheeks.

"Oh!" Lauren lifted herself onto her elbow and stared down at Camila, a maniacal smile stretching across her lips. "There is. Tell me who!"

Camila shook her head and sat up, willing away the fresh wave of blood relentlessly gathering in her face. "No one."

"You're such a liar." Lauren mimicked Camila and sat up. "I should have known there was a reason you were pushing Zayn away. Come on. Tell me who."

"I told you, Lauren." Camila stood and crossed the room to the door. Placing her hand on the knob, she turned back to Lauren. "No one. We should probably go. We'll be late."

Lauren stood, crossed the room, and narrowed her eyes at Camila. "Fine, don't tell me." She shrugged. "I'll figure it out. Sooner or later."

She left the room in a flourish of black, silky hair. Camila followed behind, praying with all her might that "later" would be closer to the actual time in which Lauren found out. Trying to explain what she and Shawn were to each other was complicated enough without the added pressure of Lauren most likely being totally pissed about it all.

Camila hated keeping things from her friend, not only because of the principal behind hiding things, but also because she wanted desperately to talk about it with someone. Someone who could understand and help her make sense of the things she was feeling. Someone who could tell her why her skin tingled every time Shawn ran his fingers along it, or why her breath caught when his lips touched hers. And possibly even how just one smile made her feel as though everything that had ever gone wrong suddenly no longer mattered.

Michael knew, but he was a guy, and Camila was quite certain trying to talk to him about anything concerning Shawn would be highly uncomfortable. Not to mention, Michael had threatened to upchuck on her shoes if she ever mentioned a single sensitive issue to him.

Then again, Lauren was Shawn's sister and that conversation would probably be awkward as well. Camila sighed at the uncomfortable longing in her chest. She wanted so badly to be able to be free and open about one of the most exciting things happening in her life, yet, she had no one she could share it with. Sure, she had Shawn, but telling him how awesome he was would only exacerbate his already inflated ego. That was definitely not something she wanted to do. She loved his confidence and his cocky nature, but she'd be damned if she contributed more than the norm.