The Music We Found

0.2 September 20, 2003- September 21, 2003

I got back to El Capitan high School just in time for the last class of the day. My best friend Lindsey was waiting for me at the edge of the parking lot, and she looked like she was about to explode.

"What's going on?" I asked her worriedly.

"This has been the worst first day of class ever." She groaned.

"Why?" I asked, knowing that she really didn't need the encouragement.

"So, I was in U.S. Government and this guy Gary starts talking to me, and I'm all like 'Ew, it's Gary' you know? So, he starts talking about his summer exploits and he had sex with Stephanie Jacobs which is like even more gross than just Gary alone, and I'm like freaking out in the corner, but then he tells me that it was at this party that Megan McGrath had and that there was college girls and so Stephanie was like a pity fuck for him and all this, but whatever, the point is that Megan McGrath is having another party this weekend and we're going." She said hurriedly.

"No?" I offered. I wasn't going to a party, especially with Lindsey. I'd end up being her baby sitter all night. I knew better than to agree with that plan. "Isn't Megan like your cousin anyway?"

"Our moms are cousins, so I don't think we're actually related. But apparently there's this band there called Before Today and it's going to be so amazing. I saw it on MySpace but I wasn't going to go because her parties sucked like really bad when she went here, but I guess she moved over to the West side, down by Logan's Barrio and the cops around there don't give a shit. So there's not going to be a lot of these losers that we go to school with, it's going to be a bunch of sexy-ass college guys and I'm ready for you to lose your virginity." Again, Lindsey just spoke with no regard for anyone or anything around her.

I choked on the nothing in my mouth. "No. That's not your decision."

"I know, but I'm changing your mind for you. I'm really tired of not being able to talk about me and Scotty with you, so it's time that you get on board with this. Megan's like on the dean's list or whatever, so she can't know too shitty of people. You'll have fun. It'll be amazing, and I'm going to get you laid. End of story." Lindsey said with finality.

"No. I'm not caving to your peer-pressure. If you want to talk about your sex life then talk to your stupid cheer-leader friends, I'm pretty sure half of them are super-sluts anyway. You don't need me for that." I had been a cheerleader with Lindsey up until this year. It looked good on my college application, but I was in now so I didn't care. Lindsey fit in with those girls; she's pretty and bubbly and social. I write piano melodies in my spare time.

Lindsey groaned, not liking my answer. "They are super-sluts and that's the problem. I choke on a dick and they judge me for it. Have they seen Scotty's dick? It's inhuman how-"

"Stop. Please. For the sake of all that is Holy, just shut your mouth." I shouted trying to cut her off.

"See what I mean? You freak, and we can't talk like we used to." She whined.

I finally found Mr. B's classroom and pointed at the door. "I've got to go Linds."

"Alright, just don't plan anything for Friday night. It's going to be you, me and whatever dick I find to shove into you!" She laughed.

My face burned red. I don't understand why she had to speak so loudly. I was so uncomfortable with nearly everything that had come out of her mouth the past month and a half. Ever since Scotty had come on her family vacation to New Mexico and sex had become Lindsey's newest obsession, there had been this divide between us. I didn't like the divide, but I wasn't willing to give away my virginity to bridge it either. It's not that I'm religious or anything, I'm not opposed to the idea. I just want it to mean something. Okay, maybe I'm just scared of the pain. I heard that it hurts really ad your first time.