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IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO remember the last time I didn't feel this way.
Fearful, that is. Only because it feels like it's always been there. Growing under me, seeping into my skin and living in my bones. It's something difficult to escape from, especially when it feels like I've been marked from it and it's the only fibre my existence is made out of – fear, nothing but fear.
And maybe that's why I've always been running away from fate, and marriages and broken hearts. Because the bottom line is that there's always something to fear in each of them and I've grown to think it's best to keep running than to face them head on. Because the chase was always far more pleasing than the catch.
When I finally slowed to a halt in the car park, near the shoreline, my grip on the steering wheel was quite ferocious and I gave myself a few moments to gather myself together. Because it was absolutely obvious to me that there was no way that I could possibly keep a good head on my shoulders while being a total mess.
After a few deep breaths, I deemed myself calm enough to exit the car. But it was only when I saw a familiar face through the windscreen, carrying a small sympathetic smile that I found myself ready to take on the night's terrors.
Like the first time I met him, Harper beat me to the latch. Already tugging on it, and opening it in time to let a cool breeze sweep the inside of Penelope's vehicle, he held out a hand for me. It's warm, and swathed around mine instantaneously and my eyes darted up to his kind, reassuring ones and I couldn't help but find such solace in his equanimity.
"We'll find her," he promised. And I would've believed him heartily if he had said it without a conspicuous swallow. "There's no way she could have gone far, I mean, I've seen her run in heels before."
"You'd be surprised how well she's learned to hide in them."
▬ ▬ ▬
We walked around for several minutes in silence before I realised that the jarring quiet was more tormenting than comforting.
Barely giving a second's thought, I nudged his arm gently, feeling that taut muscle tighten even more at my touch. His eyes, that's been focused ahead of him for a time, slid toward me and his eyebrows raised marginally. "So, Wilson, tell me me about yourself,"
He sighed, tilting his head back with a smirk tugging at his lip. "Well," he said, followed by a half-hearted laugh. "There's not much to tell. I'm just your average bloke, flaws and all."
