How To Build A Flower Shop

Chapter FOUR

She's not usually like this; it's the guilt of Gracious Gardens burning that forces her to think of her mother and feel her worst.

Lucas knocks on her bedroom door with a cup of Jasmine tea for her. It's seven-thirty and Bobbi is usually up by seven.

'Doll,' he says gently as he lets himself in. Peeks his head in first to see if it's safe, and his eyes fall on her in bed crying. His heart aches seeing her upset. 'Baby doll, you don't have to go to school today.'

Believes she has to. She never misses a day of school and didn't plan on ruining her perfect attendance. Moreover, she can't miss biology. She has to see Roberto and tell him to meet her at Gracious Gardens at five-thirty. With these thoughts, she pulls the blanket off her body and swings her feet to the floor.

'I have to,' she whispers, takes the tea from him before he leaves her to get ready.

She opens her wardrobe and throws on the first thing she sees: a blue hoodie and grey tracksuit bottoms. Makes sure she puts on the golden bracelet Nick bought her for their second month anniversary. Wears it every day. She ties her hair up in a messy pony tail, not in the mood to put on make-up, careless about her appearance. She brushes her teeth after breakfast and before grabbing her bag and leaving for school, she kisses her father's forehead and the picture of her mom in the living room. Usually she walks with Jamelia, but since the fire and their recent argument, she walks alone with the same thoughts on her mind: her mother, Gracious Gardens, and the guilty feeling she gets when she leaves her father alone at home.

Bobbi keeps to herself in school, giving Jamelia space and avoiding Nicholas. She wants nothing but to be invisible for the day. Well, some days. Just like every other day since Gracious Gardens burned down, she daydreams in classes and scribbles in her textbooks, until she remembers she wants to do well like her mother, so she sits up and pays attention.

She walks quietly down the hall when someone taps her shoulder. Puts on a fake smile but her breathing hitches and she takes a step back when she turns to see Nick. His touch is cold after Homecoming night, and she's still shaken by it.

'Hi.' His voice cracks. Those warm brown eyes hold pain in them as he frowns at her. 'I know you're mad at me, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I was wrong to- I'm sorry for,' clears his throat and then says in a lower tone, 'I'm sorry for trying to force you into doing something you're not ready for. I love you and care about you. I don't know what came over me.'

'Hormones,' Bobbi fills in the blank for him in a flat tone, unable to look at him.

Her stomach twists, his words dawning at her that he tried to go further like she initially thought that night, and not what she was trying to convince herself after: that it was nothing. That it was "making-out" like he told her. It seems easier to move on from it with that idea. The way he laughed and ignored her demands still got to her.

A dumbfounded and guilty Nicholas plays with his earlobe again. 'Bobbi, I don't want to be that type of guy. I know I'm not, but I've really beaten myself up over it. I've always treated you like a goddess, you're a queen in my eyes, so I hate that I played the "horny teenage boy". That's not who I am. You're everything to me. I don't want to lose you. Can you forgive me?' he begs. Holds her arms and leans closer to her with a broken smile.

Bobbi appreciates that he knows his fault and apologised. Sees the sincerity and pain in his eyes, but she can't get over his approach on the matter. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

'I see you mean that, but it'll take me a while to get over it. I never thought you would be like that towards me. You scared me, Nick.' She stops to take a deep breath, drained from their conversation. 'Just give me time to think and sort my feelings out. I need some time alone.'