(Jenessy's journal)
Tonight, I kissed him for the first time. I was lame.
I was waiting for the right time to give him a kiss. I ended up waiting the whole day. Kasi, pano ba magbigay ng halik? Kailan ba yung tamang chance? I saw chances and before I could decide to do it, the chance was gone.
Kaya kanina, nung naka-park na kami sa labas ng bahay, bago ako bumaba, I asked him to close his eyes. He did. Akala siguro niya, may surprise gift pa akong di naibigay.
I was so nervous while looking at him. Nakakapanginig pala. Nabingi ako sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Wala siyang kahit na anong duda kung anong gagawin ko.
And before I could entertain second thoughts and disastrous scenarios in my head, I leaned in closer, closed my eyes and reached his lips.
I pressed my lips a little longer to know how his lips feel like.
Malambot nga. At may sobrang sayang pakiramdam na hindi ko alam kung san nanggagaling.
Pagbawi ko ng labi ko, nagkatinginan kami. I guess, I really left him dumbfounded. Because he looked at me like he didn't believe or he couldn't believe what I did.
Noon lang ako nahiya. And awkward as I am, bumaba ako ng kotse, tumakbo sa bahay at nag-lock ng pinto.
Hindi ako makatili sa kwarto. Hindi ko rin mai-message si Helga. I want the memory all mine. Kahit hanggang bukas lang.
But the more I think about it, the more I feel this weird but delightful kind of happiness.
And when he told me that he was still outside, still dumbfounded, I wanted to go to him.
I wanted to kiss him and I did. But I wanted to be kissed by him, too.
He warned me I might get kissed if I go to him. True to his words, as soon as I closed the door of the passenger seat, as soon as our eyes locked again, he kissed me.
He and I kisses differently. And the second kiss felt way, way better.
He kisses like he likes strawberries a lot. That after that, my lips were all washed off the flavor. <3
